


To Find A Way

by CowandCalf



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, First Kiss, First Meeting, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Nahele Huikala - Freeform, Ohana feelings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prompt Fill, Smut, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, WritersMonth2020, family gathering, mention of PTSD, prompt fill Light, prompt fill Metamorphosis, prompt fill Ocean, prompt fill Quarantine, prompt fill cooking, prompt fill family, prompt fill hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:55:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25656250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CowandCalf/pseuds/CowandCalf
Summary: This is a writing challenge, Writer's Month 2020 on Tumblr. It's an ongoing story with the prompts I'll fill.Danny's in a rush and needs flowers to bring to the family gathering. Kamekona is the man for secret and useful tips. He leads him to the strangest flower shop Danny has ever visited. It's not even a shop. It's a funny, out-of-shape house up a dirt road at the boarders where thick jungle starts to grow. And he can't forget about the guy who sells him the pot with a large flower. Steve - Steve McGarrett. The man with the greenish eyes and the haunted look. Danny recognizes a war veteran when he sees one.Prompt fill: Flower Shop AU - Quarantine - Ocean - Hurt/Comfort - Light - Metamorphosis - Cooking - Family
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 213
Kudos: 261
Collections: Writer's Month 2020





	1. Flower Shop AU

**Author's Note:**

> This is my personal, little challenge to train my writing skills. This is the post with the explanation of my motivation: [Writer's Month 2020](https://cowandcalf.tumblr.com/post/625153977058836480/i-accept-the-challenge-writers-month-2020). It's a wonderful thing to post even a short chapter. It helps to stay motivated. It spurs me on to throw the love I have for the guys into a project and to upload it for everyone to read who feels like it. It's always great to share. My current story I'm writing is a big project, a monster mind-baby, the sequel to my HS AU. I'll take me over a year to finish it. And besides, summer and writing challenges are an ultimate combination. I love it. So, here I am.
> 
>  **Disclaimer** : I don't own the show or the characters. H50 and the characters are the intellectual property of CBS. I own the idea and the plot of my story. No copyright infringement is intended. I write for fun. I make no money with my stories.
> 
> Readers who know me are used to get long, very long chapters. This here is different. I plan to write this challenge to train my skills in writing shorter and very short chapters. I have no idea where this journey is taking me and it's possible that I'll post a chapter of the size of a drabble. I stay open-minded. What I want to try is to link the individual prompts together that it leads towards one story. Let's see where this is taking me. I have never done anything like it and I'm curious and excited.
> 
> Thank you for your time, for dropping by and for your support! You always rock my world, each and every one of you. Mahalo, guys!
> 
> I guess that's all?
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.

"Ma, that's the third time you're calling! I won't arrive sooner, I'm on my way, _on my way_. Stop telling me to bring flowers for Aunt Christine. I have them, okay?" Danny's patience walks on thin ice. "I'm not demented and I feel kind of offended, you know? I'm a grown man." Danny pouts a little. His mother has a way of making him feel like the little boy he once was, day-dreaming with the tendency to be invested so deeply in his play that he forgot about the world. 

"Daniel, I know my boy, okay? I know how work consumes you and I know you forget things. Flowers are not on top of the list of a detective. Don't make me ask Chin to save the day. Please, bring flowers and don't be too late." His mom's voice has a sweetness to it and Danny caves. She knows how she can twist him around her little finger. He can never be angry for too long if at all. "I promise, Ma. I haven't forgotten the flowers but I'll be an hour late. Work, Ma, yeah - I gotta go, uh-huh, yeah, bye Ma! Bye!" Danny makes kissing sounds and hangs up on her.

 _Shit_. Flowers. Damn. Of course, he has deleted that task. The green stuff has dropped off his list between his first coffee and Chin's call about the body with no arms who terrified the tourists. The chief has been scared up with the rumor of a shark attack at the beach. He's had so many other important things to do. God. He can't show up empty-handed and he owes Chin already.

Connections are everything. He dials the number for emergency cases like this. "Kamekona, man, how are you?" He laughs.

His friend tsks him with this didactic tone the one Danny can't stand. "You need my service, brah, I can smell it. It'll cost you. You have to bring guests for lunch for seven days."

"You don't even know what I need!" Danny shouts with ruffled feathers.

"I know it's important to you and you gonna tell me what it is and I know I'll have less than twenty minutes to organize it. So, spit it out, _hoaloha_."

Danny feels Kame's smugness through his cell. "I need flowers, any flowers and I need them _now_. I'm on my way to a family gathering and I forgot the damn flowers. My mom's going to kill me. I need something, _anything_ on my way home. ETA is fifteen minutes and I can't turn around. Any ideas? Let's make it happen."

There's a pause at the other end. Danny hears Kamekona grunt and grumble. "There's one guy but, uh, you can't just walk into his shop."

"What? Who's that guy? He has a shop but I can't just walk in and buy stuff? Does he have flowers?"

"Kinda – "

"Kame! Don't drive me crazy. Are you my man or are you not?" Danny screams into his cell. Kamekona is always unperturbed by his shouting and that makes him want to yell into his phone even more.

"Give me ten minutes. I need to call him. He hates strangers. He won't let you pass. He needs my word you're a good guy."

"You're fucking kidding me, aren't you, Kame? Flowers, the guy sells flowers. God, why do I even ask, huh?" Danny scoffs and hits the wheel with his palm.

"You want flowers? You do as I say!" Kamekona's voice has changed. Danny jerks a bit with the seriousness in his tone. "He needs to know you're coming. Knock three times, have cash ready, and lose your badge and your gun. No questions."

"Jesus. _Okayyy_. Whatever. The main thing is to get the damn flowers." Danny gives in. "This guy has some serious issues, dude. Just sayin'".

"His name is Steve, Steve McGarrett. He doesn't talk much. I'll make sure he's ready for you."

"Thanks, dude. I ow you. Yeah, yeah. I'll bring Chin and Kono for lunch." Danny hangs up and shakes his head. Good Gracious! He's sure he'll meet an incarnation of a hippie, chanting scary mantras and feeling utterly disturbed by the vibes of violence Danny's going to carry into his sacred space.

But he doesn't care. He's good. He's safe. His mom won't be disappointed. His mood lifts. He's going to get his flowers. But he also sweats. His AC has given up on him this morning and he drives with open windows. He can bring his silver baby into the workshop only tomorrow.

The wind drives its fingers through Danny's hair. He turns the volume up and taps the rhythm of his favorite Bon Jovi song on the steering wheel. When the refrain blares through the speakers Danny sings along at the top of his voice _'lay your hands on me' _. He performs a mean headshake and fist bumps the air.__

____

__He's ready for this Steve McGarrett._ _

__

__Two hours later his mom still glows. Aunt Christine's smile makes the entire family happy. Normally, she's grumpy and seriously hard to satisfy but Danny has achieved the impossible._ _

__"Danny," his mom catches him alone in the kitchen, "tell me again how you've found a 'Torch Ginger'? I've never heard of that flower before. I thought you bring a nice bouquet. I'm so proud of you. You've made her very happy. Have you seen the intense red of the petals? Its incredible beauty?"_ _

__Danny kisses her cheek. "I'm happy you're happy. I have connections and yes, it's a special kind of flower."_ _

__"Can you take me to this flower shop? I would love to get one of those bright red and magical looking plants, too." Ma Williams's soft laugh makes Danny hug her for a moment._ _

__"I see what I can do, okay?"_ _

__Danny watches his mother walk out of the kitchen. He stares down at the tea towel but all he sees are the greenish eyes with the haunted look. Steve – Steve McGarrett. He recognizes a war veteran when he sees one._ _

__Danny sighs and leans against the fridge. Kamekona's going to answer some important questions. A hippie, my ass. Danny feels slightly electrocuted by feelings and by the good looks of this hunk. The after-image that shows when he closes his eyes as if he has looked into a too-bright light bulb is one of skin, strained, corded muscles, and inked skin._ _

__TBC_ _


	2. Quarantine

Danny rubs the hand sanitizer between his palms. He pulls the face mask over his mouth and nose the moment he gets out of the car. They're in a worldwide lockdown. It's unreal and insane what's going on. Two days ago, everything's been fine and now everything's flipped upside down. He can't wrap his mind around the chaos that has taken over. Grace is safe and at home with Rachel. He still breaks out in a sweat knowing there's an invisible threat creeping into his guarded world and he can't do shit about it. He misses his baby girl. No visitations but he calls her daily via face time. 

The lockdown with its rules weighs heavily on everyone. Chin, Kono and he are with HPD and allowed to be outside. The workload has reduced drastically and Danny deals with the challenge of having too much spare time at hand. And that's the main reason his thoughts circle around a big handsome guy with strong, large hands who hugs a plant like a scared kitten. This unique and invested care for a flower, _a flower_ , Danny saw a few days ago makes him draw a shaky breath now and then.

Jesus. This guy won't leave his thoughts. The confidence and self-esteem in every move have caught Danny's attention from the first encounter. But he's also sensed the invisible cracks. The flicker of Steve's eyes when Danny wasn't in his field of vision. The slight slip of his features when Steve couldn't find a bag for the plant. And the almost scared look when Danny went out the door with a flower Steve seemed to care so much for.

Danny's legs eat the distance to Kamekona's shrimp truck and seconds later he pounds at the closed door. 

"Take out's not before twelve o'clock. Don't queue up, don't mess with the rules! No food without a face mask." Kamekona's thunder voice hollers through the closed truck.

"It's me, big guy. Open the door. I'll have take out, three times, for Chin and Kono and myself. As I've agreed." Danny waits. "My mask is on, Kame! My hands are sanitized. Don't let me wait in this heat with my face half-covered. It's brutal out here. Come on."

The door opens an inch. "There's a box to your left, put the money in there. I only take cash, no cards."

They exchange food and money and the door closes again. "Wait, Kame, wait. Steve – I,"

The door stops mid-movement and gets pushed open with a jerk.

"Whoa, careful there. I almost dropped the food." Danny grabs the bags with both hands.

"What about Steve." Kamekona looks intimidating with his face half-covered behind a black mask. His big, shovel-like hands stuck in black rubber gloves and he wears a tent-size red apron with the print of his face – covered behind a black mask.

Danny chuckles and waves with the bag in his hand. "Don't you think you overdo it with the brand stuff?"

It's uncharacteristic for Kamekona not to get lost in a speech about business and keeping up with the top seller. He comes straight to the point. "Leave Steve alone. He's not a people's guy. He likes solitude."

Danny licks his lips. "You protect him. Why?"

Kamekona gets this stoic look when Danny touches a sensitive topic. The answer surprises him. "He's _kama'āina_."

"And what else?" Danny can't feel the heat, can't feel how his shirt sticks to his damp back. "I'm – look, he has this thing about him –" he hopes Kamekona would chime in but he just stares at him. "He's ex-military, right? There was something odd in his behavior yesterday. He doesn't look like a guy who deals with flowers. It wasn't even a shop. It was more – "

"Yo, brah, Steve's not like all others. You needed a flower, he needed someone to drop by. I wanted to make sure he's okay. I haven't had the time to go check up on him last week."

"You check up on him? Why?" Danny's interest peaks. His heart thumps and his mouth turns dry. "Is he sick?"

"No more information." His friend has made up his mind. Danny recognizes the tone.

"Hand me another lunch bag." Danny digs into his pocket to get more money.

"For Steve?" 

"Yep. He had a hard time when I took his plant. I could tell. I go and check up on him."

Kame eyes him gently. "Don't move too fast and don't talk too much."

Danny's eyebrows climb up his forehead. "Something else, dude? A foot-rub maybe?"

"You don't know, Steve. He's –"

"Dangerous?" Danny teases.

"Just watch out and make sure he sees you all the time. It's lockdown, too. He'll be twitchier than usual." The door to the truck closes with a soft click.

Danny watches the front door of Steve's flower shop that looks more like an abandoned building with dusty windows surrounded by tamed jungle and big bushes. Countless pots with a variety of flowers mark the path that leads to the front door. He hasn't taken the time yesterday to take the scenery in. The wild beauty isn't chaotic at all if anything it's picturesque. Danny pays tribute to the attentiveness that has shaped this place.

Who's this guy? Danny performs the same procedure with hand sanitizer and face mask before he grabs the lunch bags on the passenger seat and gets out of the car. He knows Steve watches him. No one can drop by this place by accident. But so far, Danny hasn't been yelled at and shot at. So far, he counts this as being tolerated on the property.

He lifts his hand to knock on the door when a voice sharp as a blade barks a question behind his back. Shit. Danny hasn't seen or heard anything a second ago.

"What the hell are you doing here? Kamekona didn't call to tell me someone's coming."

"Hey, I brought –" Danny is about to turn around.

" _Freeze!_ "

Like a gunshot, the word impacts Danny's eardrum. He lifts his arms to show he means no harm. He doesn't say a word and stands still. _Holy fuck_.

"Turn around, _slowly_ , and keep your hands up where I can see them."

Danny turns around. He faces a dangerous-looking man with dark hair who wears a white flimsy tank top covered in smudges of dirt. He stares at the gun in Steve's hand. Kamekona hasn't exaggerated. And Steve’s looks has changed. Nothing resembles the behavior from yesterday.

"Pull your mask down." Steve moves like a tiger, with grace and power. He approaches slowly. 

Danny breathes the earthy air with his eyes fixed on Steve's hard features. His jaw muscles pop prominently. "Hi, Steve. I brought lunch. Kame made your special dish, extra garlic, and lots of vegetables."

Steve's shoulders slump imperceptibly. Danny exhales with care. "Can I take my hands down?"

Steve comes closer. "Why did you come? I don't sell any flowers today, not ever again."

Danny's eyes drop to the broad shoulders and the golden, tanned skin. "Are you hungry?" Danny watches how Steve works his jaw and purses his lips. He lifts the bag with a fluent, slow motion. "Smells delicious and I'm sure you could need a refuel after you crawled through the jungle."

Steve scoffs, "I wasn't _crawling_ through any jungle."

"But you're just as dirty as if – "

Steve walks toward the door without paying attention to Danny. Yeah, that's not true. This guy has eyes everywhere. Freaking Rambo. Steve flicks the gun safety on and pushes the weapon into the waistband of the back of his jeans. Danny's abs tense hard and he holds his breath. Yeah, well. His tongue flicks over his lips and his eyes drop to Steve's ass.

"I'm not eating outside," Steve shouts over his shoulder. He leaves the door ajar.

"You arrogant sonofabitch." Danny sputters flabbergasted.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	3. Ocean

Danny kicks the entrance door gently open. "Coming in!" He shouts into the room before he hesitantly steps in, guarded, and with perked ears. He still doesn't know what's up with Steve. He's definitely ex-military or special ops, definitely ex-elite. "Hey, Steve, give a sign so I know that you know I'm coming in. You gave me quite the show out there." He calls and listens but all he hears is irritated, half-loud breathing out from the left.

It's a funny building. The façade is a solid brick wall with windows but behind the door, space opens up into one big room. It's spacious with simple white walls which have seen better days. The wooden planks on the floor are worn and dusty but add a comfy touch to the atmosphere. The set-up in the single room is sparse: there's a large navy-blue couch with a few strewn pillows pushed against the wall, right under a big America flag that is pinned to the wall.

Steve watches him with certain alertness. "Weapon's on the table. I'm not going to shoot you. If I have wanted you off my ground you would be already on your way back where you came from. I wanted to scare you off. Didn't work. You're still here." Steve states calmly. "You know Kame and you've brought food. You've gained some credit to negotiate."

There's something in Steve's voice. Danny's heart answers to the silent undercurrent. Heat spreads over his torso. "Negotiate? About what? I'm the one with the food, smartass." Danny chuckles. "You know, that's not the best way to start a conversation with a guy you don't know." Steve doesn't answer.

Danny makes out about three dirty raincoats on a racket on the wall and several bags of potting soil piled up in the corner. "Play nice, Tarzan. I come in peace." Danny strolls into the big room and sees the makeshift kitchen built from a table at the other side. He spots an electric water jug, a tray with different sized mugs, a fridge and the stuff people need to eat and cook. "Do you live out here?" He asks.

"You ask too many questions for a guy who plays a delivery boy." Steve leans against a super long and old wooden table. He darts him a hot, dark look. Danny's sure Steve aims to be intimidating but all Danny could feel is more heat spreading further south.

"Touché." Danny grins and juts his chin out. "What are you doing with all the baby flowers? Planting? Dotting the jungle with colors? Creating a magic garden?" He points behind Steve where a heap of fresh soil sits in the middle of the table. Steve must have potted flowers. The chaos has an order and next to the small, empty flowerpots are a few plastic crates with a large variety of baby flowers. Danny sweats and the flutter of nervousness makes him run his mouth.

Steve has his feet crossed at the ankles and his hands rest on the rim of the wood table. "Why is it so difficult for an HPD Detective to imagine a man doing gardening, invested in the flora and fauna of Hawai'i?" Steve slips into a defensive mechanism and wears a harder streak around his mouth. 

Danny knows he has to control his brain to mouth filter. "Hey, look, I'm sorry. I know, it's super impolite to ask prying questions but you held me at gunpoint. That was rude and I guess I've earned the right to go a bit off the rails with the rules of how a stranger behaves in a guy's private room." The lunch bags noisily land on the wooden surface of the smaller kitchen table.

Steve eyes him with high concentration and an unreadable face. "Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?"

"Safes lives," Danny answers without batting an eye. He keeps his cool but feels Steve's tension like barely-there electricity. His hair on both arms feels sensitive to the unfamiliar vibes he tries to analyze. Danny gestures a bit bashfully into the direction of Steve's baby flower collection. "I was disrespectful. I'm sorry if I've offended you. I just wanted to break the ice, get the talk going, you know."

"I'm not offended, annoyed would come pretty close though. You talk a guy's head off and I'm hungry. I don't like to waste time. I have to finish my daily workload."

"Duly noted," Danny turns his head. "Got any plates?" He feels like the fifth wheel. Steve and his plants are a solid union and he's the intruder. He can't shake the feeling Steve would want him to leave. This dark, dangerous, super handsome man gets antsier the longer Danny stays in a close range.

"And they're called seedlings or offset, not baby flowers." Steve pushes off the rim of the table he has leaned against. His voice is defensive. "Wash your hands first. Hand sanitizer is over there." He orders and points to the corner with the sink. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to contaminate your private rooms. I can assure you I'm very cautious and I take the rules of the Lockdown very seriously. Do you want me to put my mask back on?" Danny walks over to the washbasin and turns the faucet on. The liquid soap squirts on his hand. He cocks his head and glances over his shoulder. "Do you need me to put my mask back on?" He asks again.

Steve's bleak expression quickly turns, he scowls. "No."

Danny nods and watches, lost in thoughts, how the water swirls before it vanishes down the drain. The sudden mood-drop takes him off-guard. The light banter hasn't breached the steel walls Steve seemed to draw up when Danny turns his eyes in his direction. He feels sad. The dull emptiness swashes in his stomach and steals his appetite. "Do you want me to leave?" He has no idea why he asks this. It's important to hear Steve's answer.

Steve takes his time to reply. Danny dries his hands with paper towels. He tries to find the waste bin. The longer Steve makes him wait for the answer the more determined Danny gets to stay. "Okay, big guy, I get it. You don't like visitors. You don't even like visitors who bring food. And I'll leave but you just have to say it. I'm not offended. I can eat my delicious shrimps somewhere on a rock, gazing over the ocean. I just thought you might enjoy the company."

Steve has his arms crossed over his chest. A sheen of sweat covers his upper body. Danny notices the way he balls his fists and how his biceps bulge. Steve is nervous. The realization hits Danny. He keeps Steve in his sight and steps toward the big, old wooden table. Steve's stance is wide. He seems to feel uncomfortable. "You can stay." He says flatly. The vibes he gives off make Danny's neck muscles tense. 

"Okay, let's eat then and I'm out of your hair." Danny grabs the bags. He still hasn't found plates. It's not very stimulating to notice Steve's not supportive. Maybe the unexpected disappointment Danny senses on his tongue makes him act unwary. He spots the waste bin at the other end of the seedling station. Steve's wary gaze gets him clumsy. Danny steps forward to throw the paper ball into the waste bin but he bumps into the corner of the huge, old table.

Everything happens in slow motion. Danny watches how the impact makes the freshly repotted seedlings wobble before three pots tumble over the edge and start to fall. Danny hears the surprised and fearful gasp from Steve and he expects this athlete of a man to leap forward to catch his babies. Instead, Steve freezes and Danny has his hands full with the bags of shrimps and the paper towel. He's too slow. There's this split second where he watches how the pots get pulled down to the floor by gravity. He decides to hold on to the food and drops the paper towels. He tries to catch one of the pots, without success.

The loud noise of cracking clay pots seems to detonate in the utter silence. Danny feels the hard push of hands and he stumbles. Steve rudely shoves him aside. Danny hears Steve's harsh panting he sucks in air like a drowning man.

"I'm sorry, Steve. Shit, sorry man. I didn't mean to – "

"What have you done?" Steve crouches on the floor, hunched over the broken pots. His hands fly over the spilled baby-plants without coordination. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" He yells.

Danny doesn't understand what's happening. He watches helplessly how Steve falls apart right before his eyes. "Steve, I'm sorry. Come on, let me help you." He drops the bag with lunch on the floor and squats down. His hand comes down to rest gently on Steve's shoulder.

Steve's wild. The angry jerk has Danny almost drop on his rear. His hand got swatted off aggressively. "Go away. Leave! You have to leave, I need – I can't," Steve's voice is a hoarse croak, laced with a fear Danny can't grasp but he's more than willing to try to understand. 

"Hey, buddy, let me help you."

"They're hurt, god, I have to – I have to," Steve murmurs to himself. Sweat runs down his temple and leaves a wet track in the smudge of dirt on his skin.

Nausea sets in the pit of Danny's stomach when he sees how Steve shakes. Within seconds he's covered in sweat and collapses slowly with his entire focus on the plants on the floor. His hands scoop up the flower dirt around the naked plants. The gentle, white baby-roots show and one of the young leaves is broken. Steve seems heartbroken. He cups them with both hands, his breathing ragged.

Danny can't move, too frightened by the shocking realization about what he's witnessing. Steve is caught in a world Danny can't see but he senses in what kind of horrible loop Steve has been sucked in. Battlefields. War zones. Destruction and death, agonizing memories Danny can't even start to fathom how unsettling those inner images must be. They seem to rule Steve's presence. The broken clay pots have flipped a switch.

"They'll make it. Yeah, you'll be fine, fine. I'm not giving up on you," Steve's eyes dart over to Danny.

The wild, helpless look on his face kicks Danny into motion. Steve must have lost friends in horrible fights, bled to death, nasty bullet wounds in impassable areas with no help to get them out alive. Danny has no idea if he's interpreting the situation correctly. Sever PTSD has many faces. And he's sure he stares in one of them now. Danny only knows he has to help Steve save the plants no matter how ridiculous this might seem. They're more to Steve than just plants. They're his friends who got killed in action. The ones Steve couldn't save.

Danny jumps to his feet. "I've got you, Steve. I'm here. We'll save your plants. Let's – " he walks over to this proud, brave man who's hunched over, unable to snap out of it. Danny empties one of the crates and is back at Steve's side in a second. "Put them in here. We'll pot them in new and bigger flower pots, okay? Here, lay them down, yes, just like that. They're strong. They're gonna make it."

Steve's hands shake uncontrollably. Danny tries not to stare at the strong arms and the helpless way Steve's experiences as a soldier let him crash completely. He's drowning in an ocean of bad memories that have messed so terribly with his emotional state he almost keens over baby-plants on the floor. "They're gonna be fine, yes," Steve mumbles and does as Danny says.

Danny wants to cry. The cruelty and the unfairness of the world cut through him like a glowing blade. He hands Steve the crate with the saved flower seedlings. "Let's get up. Come on. They need your care, new soil, and some water." Danny grunts when he pushes himself up. His knee screams with pain from kneeling for so long. He pushes the pain aside. "Steve?" He whispers.

Steve's hunched over and cleans the floor with his bare hands. Damp soil seems to be everywhere. He scoops the spilled soil to a smaller heap, totally caught up in this mundane action. Danny's eyes catch the tremor in his left hand. He bites his lips and waits a moment to collect his emotions that are all over the place. "Steve? Come on, buddy, get up." Danny touches Steve's shoulder once again, cautious and butterfly soft fingertips graze over Steve's bare shoulder. He waits and almost sobs when Steve twitches and shuffles to get up from kneeling on the floor but waits instead.

Danny doesn't know what to do. "I uh, look, I put the crate on the table. Your babies have enough earth. You take your time, okay? I'll, uhm, I'll go and make some coffee." Danny puts the box on the wooden table and turns his back to Steve. He washes his hands under the faucet. He bites his tongue and swallows the shock.

He listens with a wild beating heart when Steve gets up. Nothing. He hears nothing after that. He slowly turns around and holds his breath. Steve hugs his upper body, rocking back and forth. His breathing is labored and he still seems to be a prisoner of the relapse he experiences. His shirt is soaked in sweat. His skin glistens in the evening light. Steve looks lost.

Danny tosses the rag with which he has dried his hands in a corner of the makeshift kitchen. He knows from police training that people with an anxiety disorder need different tools to flip the switch, to get out of the loop. He has no idea if Steve has such a toolbox or if he needs something else. He has to try to get him out of the destructive undercurrent of the dark, dangerous ocean he has been sucked in. It's Danny's fault, Steve's such a mess. It's his fucking fault. He has to try!

"Steve," Danny whispers, scared to spook him with a too-loud voice, "what do you need?"

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> This chapter covers prompt no.6. I don't write every prompt and that's why I don't post with the regular, quick habit I normally do. The writing challenge lasts the entire month of August. Just to let you know.


	4. Hurt/Comfort

Danny waits. He's attentive, patient although his senses are full-blown and active. He registers fine dust dancing in a stray ray of evening sunlight. The world is reduced to this single moment. He knows Steve feels naked, stripped bare to the core. The echo of his own voice still floats through the air. The spoken words of his question vibrate silently, poking Steve softly.

Steve's arms fall to his side. He looks beat and abysmally tired. As if he has nothing more to lose, he clears his throat and takes a step forward. "I can't – " He stops mid-sentence. The shame colors his cheeks. He works hard to control the aftershock of his panic attack. He shakes as if he's freezing cold. He sets his jaw, determined to hold on to the little dignity he has left. Danny notices the way Steve takes a quick glance at the gun on the table. He draws a breath with closed eyes.

Danny smells the pungent odor of Steve's cold sweat. "Steve? Do you need your gun?" He asks quietly. He wouldn't leave, not before Steve's calmed down to a point where he's back from where he's got lost.

Steve gives in. The straight, hard line of his shoulders softens. Danny watches with a tight throat how Steve tries to work through the aftermath of the episode without the things he needed to make it. Danny's movements are deliberately slow. He's hyper-aware of the unpredictability of the situation. He has no idea how Steve's going to react. Steve's glare almost burns wholes in his eyes. Danny reaches for the weapon on the table. His fingers curl around the handle piece of the Sig Sauer P226. "Do you need this?" He places the gun in the middle of the table. 

Steve exhales. He swallows hard and nods. His eyes are fixed on the black pistol. Steve's features melt and surrender oozes off every pore on his skin.

"Good," Danny steps closer. "What do you need to do with it?" If Steve needs to shoot some rounds he wants to be ready.

The transformation that follows suit in Steve's demeanor almost scares Danny. A wave of strength seems to ripple through Steve's body. He breathes out shakily and steps closer. A deep calmness shows on his face and with the snap of fingers, the soldier emerges. The shaking stops, the breathing deepens and when Steve lifts his gaze to look at Danny there's only a heavy concentration and nothing else. 

Danny clenches and unclenches his fists. Good Gracious. 

"I need to disassemble and assemble my pistol to calm down." Steve sighs and ducks his head, "it's what gets me out of it, makes me feel better." He whispers. "It's the only thing that helps to gain my equilibrium back."

Danny watches Steve with reverent fascination. "Good," he nods as if Steve has given him an order. The intimacy of the situation is as obvious as a punch to the face. Danny hesitates a split second and is about to turn around to walk out of the room. He doesn't want to leave but Steve's emotions show in a painful rawness. Danny can't stand to know Steve's endlessly ashamed due to his presence.

"Stay," the crack in Steve's voice kills him. "Danny, it's okay." The breathed words curl around Danny's neck as if Steve's hand holds him back with the shyness that's as tender as a newborn.

A drop of sweat runs down the back of Danny's neck. "Thank you," he whispers into the reverent silence of the strangest moment Danny can remember. His gaze wanders over Steve's face to find his pupils blown and huge. Trust, of all things, _trust_ flickers like a broken light bulb in the darkness there. Danny senses the insane urge to tell Steve that whatever it takes, he's willing to help him carry the cruel load that weighs down on his soul. But he doesn't know Steve at all and still, Danny has to bite his tongue to keep the words from spilling. He has no right to tell him he's going to be fine. He knows shit about Steve's life but he can be there, right by his side to ease the agonizing pressure.

Steve gets unsteady again. "I – uh, I also need a towel. It's – it's folded, stuck behind the mugs, over there."

Ritualistic – the way a tool is used, mostly repetitive and ritualistic and that shines a light of another mental issue Danny doesn't want to think about. Danny pulls the white, clean towel from behind the mugs. He shakes it and puts in on the table, flattens it, and lays the gun in the middle. "I'm, uh, I'm going to make coffee. I'm right here if you need me." Danny points with his thumb awkwardly over his shoulder, his upper body half-twisted and with his attention on the gun. He still feels the shape of Steve's pistole pressed into his palm. He has to do something to find a way to calm his heart. Jesus.

Steve stays silent. His face changes again. A peaceful streak spreads into his expression and makes Danny want to grab the rim of the table to keep him from dropping to his knees. He turns around to give Steve some much-needed privacy. He tries to be as silent as possible when he opens the only two cupboards under the sink. He smells the coffee and reaches for the yellow metal tin on the left. Danny does everything with super controlled movements. 

When the first metallic click-sound hits the air, Danny jerks. He curses silently. He follows Steve's skilled steps with his mind while he tries to get the coffee going. First click: remove the mag. Second click: lock back the slide, check to make sure there's no ammo in the barrel. Third click: remove the slide from the lower part, take out the recoil feather, and the barrel. The last sound is the soft thud when Steve lays down the pieces and the handle on the towel. Danny's breathing hitches. The drip coffee maker gurgles disturbingly but it doesn't seem to bother Steve. There's a beat of silence. Danny stands still and waits for Steve to do everything backward.

The fast succession of the steps to assemble a gun follows a second later. The clicks are solid, executed without hesitation. Danny watches how the dark hot brew fills the coffee pot.

The metallic clicking sound, interrupted by Steve's break before he resumes his task again, merges into a meditative sound carpet. Danny's concentration is on Steve and his hands. He can't see him. He senses him. The heat and the fear that has filled the room moments before ebb away and clarity spills from where Steve handles his weapon. He trusts Danny enough to let him stay, lets him listen and experiences how he fixes for the time being what's out of whack.

Danny's heart stumbles. At first, he doesn't understand what's wrong. His entire body vibrates softly. He crumples up the rag in one fist. The intimacy is almost too much to bear. And when he realizes why he feels a twist in his gut and why his throat is so strained it almost flutters, he drops the rag and grabs the rim of the sink with both hands. He stares at the freshly brewed coffee. He remembers how he reacted when Chin told him he knew the exact moment when he has fallen in love with Malia. Danny shrugged off the telling as cheesy stuff. How could someone even say that? It takes time to fall in love. It doesn't happen in one moment.

Little does he know.

Danny drops his head and resists the urge to put his face in his hands. This, right here, with his back to Steve, with his ears perked up to not miss a single move Steve makes, this is the exact moment where love hits him like a sucker punch. The yearning spreads into his stomach and his hands. He works his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut. An aching sweetness and longing drip into his veins. He misses out on the moment when Steve stops. Silence. There's only the puffing and panting of the antique drip coffee maker. The melancholy sits deep in his stomach. He slowly turns around with his heart in his throat.

Steve stands tall. He has pushed his hands down his pockets. He watches Danny with a soft glow on his face and a distance in his eyes Danny doesn't want to see. "Are you," Danny wants to ask if Steve's good if he feels better but changes his mind, "are you ready for a cup of hot coffee?"

Steve almost glides around the table. His steps are a choreography of grace and strength. It's a lot to take in especially when he stands right in front of Danny, in arms reach. "Did I hurt you?" Steve asks with such a seriousness that berefts Danny of any sarcastic comment. "I pushed you so hard. I'm so sorry."

Danny fights to get the words out. "No, of course not. Please, Steve, there's no need to apologize. I – it's me who has to apologize for being so clumsy and for making you have this fit. I'm so sorry."

"Don't," Steve's hand lands warm and firm on Danny's shoulder. His fingers press down and Danny nothing but wants to push into Steve's grip to feel more. Steve's lips are red from chewing on it. "I'm the one who has to apologize, Danny. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Danny nods and taps with his palm against Steve's forearm where ink meanders under his skin. He needs to step away, needs to create some distance where he'll be safe from the crazy wish to taste Steve's tattooed skin with his tongue. "You didn't hurt me, Steve. I'm just happy you're okay again. We're good." He ducks away and tilts his head, ignoring his fluttering pulse. "Coffee?"

"Okay," Steve pauses and pulls his hand back, "coffee, coffee sounds good. I'm not hungry. I'm sorry about lunch." Steve emanates strength and loyalty, stamina, and vulnerability. He looks so beautiful and irresistible.

Danny wants to touch and to own but he picks two mugs instead. They're tall and huge and hold at least three normal coffee cups. Danny's asked himself when his eyes have first landed on the mugs who for Heaven's sake would want to drink from freaking barrel-sized mugs? And now everything makes sense. Shaking hands can spill coffee when filled in too small cups. He feels ashamed for being so ignorant.

"Danny?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?" Steve wants reassurance or something else. Danny's senses are completely clouded. 

"I'm good, scout's promise." Danny smiles and shoves the half-filled huge mug with the 'cat lover' print in Steve's hand. "Here you go. Freshly brewed, strong and hot." He avoids brushing Steve's fingers. Men normally don't appreciate to be deliberately touched by another man.

Steve's eyes follow his every move. He watches him over the rim of his mug when he sips at the coffee.

Danny has to get out of this room. He holds on to his mug. "Tell me, who bought these mugs for you?" Danny grinned and winked at the inscription on his pink mug, 'Karen, am I a joke to you?'.

Steve chuckles low and Danny almost chokes on his coffee. "Mary, my sister. I have no idea who Karen is but she laughed at me and said it would lift my mood. She saw my black and dark green mugs and just took them with her and brought new ones. I'm not a pink color guy." 

Danny snorts and drinks not only his coffee but also Steve's seductive, crooked smile. "I would never have guessed."

The silence was almost comfortable but still laced with a tiny strain of uneasiness. 

"Do you know what I need?" Danny asks with his butt against the cupboard.

"What do you need, Danny?"

Danny can't handle how Steve makes him the sole spot in his universe. 

"I need you to show me your garden. I know you have one. There must be a place where you grow your babies, right?"

Steve's smile widens and spreads across his face. "You sure you're ready for it?"

Danny makes a 'duh' face. "After what we've just experienced together? C'mon, show me your home-grown jungle."

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I've mentioned something about wanting to try to write shorter chapters, haven't I? *crosses out notes about chapter length not more the 1k and adds '2k's fine, too'*


	5. Light

Danny takes one more look at Steve with a teasing grin on his lips. "Show me. Which way?" His eyebrows climb up the forehead. He cocks the head to the side, just for kicks to flirt with the most handsome guy in the western hemisphere.  
Steve has just agreed to show him his garden. And a split second ago there has been a wide smile on his beautiful face. What has happened between the last second and this second?

They don't know each other and at the same time, Danny's blood rushes at a different speed through his veins. He heaves a sigh because something inside him has finally arrived, is finally able to stop running, to stop looking. And Danny has no freaking idea what that even means, and why he's having such crazy thoughts. It's not the first time, he's stuck in a challenging situation with a stranger just to experience and undergo emotions that run so deep he gets the feeling to run out of air.

But Steve – God, this fearless man, broke down and mended himself back together almost in no time. And falling in love, at first sight, is kind of traumatic, too. It bereaves Danny of all his believes he's had about love. _The love_ , the one no one ever gets to meet and especially not him. And still, Danny gets to breathe in fresh air after what seems like the longest of time. It shocks him to the core.

Steve has made him stay, has made him see how he has risen from hell. Danny senses the sweltering heat in his chest as an after sensation of Steve's struggle. What emotional resilience, what emotional raw strength, and stamina that must have taken out of Steve. But with the impact of a drilling arrow through his chest, Danny realizes the delicacy of his demand – the demand to see 'more' of Steve. Steve hasn't refused Danny's ask. He just agreed on the spot, more like a reflex he starts to regret, maybe? Danny can't breathe.

Admiration, devotion, and respect so profound it hurts render him speechless. Danny's lost for words. He can't grasp fast enough how the mood changes, like the wind in the air. The sails of his soul feel a different blow. Danny stops walking to the door across the living room.

Steve's lips still show the shadow of a confident smile but his eyes grow darker with the pupils enlarging. Danny knows he asks a lot of the guy. They're bonding and the sheer thought of this incurable romantic, stupid motion makes him slow down his steps.

Danny has no idea which way to go. He doesn't have a clue where Steve's 'home-grown jungle' could be. There's ridiculous thick jungle all around the funny, out-of-shape house and along the gravel road leading up to Steve's place. And Danny has also no clue if Steve's even up to let a stranger into his green world if Steve has ever shown anyone at all where he disappears when the world closes him on him. 

The truth is Danny's shaking. The adrenaline finally kicks in despite the light banter about coffee mugs moments ago. He's not sure if he could hold up the level of a solid mood, they both have worked up so hard to reach. Maybe the tour through Steve's refuge isn't such a good idea.

Steve's fresh out of a solid panic attack Danny has caused and to be honest, he feels slightly out of his depths. Anxiety fits aren't new to him but the shock still stuck in his bones how Steve freaked out, eyes wide and glassy. Maybe, he should just leave. Let Steve have some time of his own. Maybe he should even call Steve's sister to make sure he gets through the night without dark, hellish nightmares. Mary. Steve's sister's name is Mary.

Steve's watching him with an intensity that gets Danny's legs heavy and his steps difficult. "You're not coming?" His eyes find Steve's and his heart stops for a beat. "Help me out, big guy. I don't know what has changed between my question to show me your garden and my steps toward this door."

Steve stays stubbornly silent and Danny slips deeper into a sadness he can't explain. He follows Steve with his eyes.

Steve places his mug gently on the countertop and comes over to where Danny stands rooted to the spot. He's unable to see anything else but Steve and the way large dirt smudges show where he has wiped off the dirt to get to his weapon. Steve's bare feet sticking out from worn leg pants, the skin dirty from walking without shoes. The sight touches Danny's heart unprepared. His hand curls around the mug pressed to his chest. There is weariness but also skittishness to Steve's posture. He watches Danny as if he regrets having agreed to show him around.

"Look, Steve, no offense taken if you change your mind. We don't have to go visit your jungle. I didn't mean to pressure you or to make you uncomfortable again." Danny gushes, in a hurry to cut through this heavy, thick mood he can't fend off. "I was just trying to steer us away from this abyss of terrible memories – whatever. Steve?"

Steve's gaze is like the softest of kisses. Danny almost drops the mug. Steve walks past Danny and brushes against his drawn-up arm. Danny revels in the sensation to smell Steve's skin, earth and sweat, and to have a memory of how damn solid and hard Steve's abs feel pressed to his arm. Danny wants to walk right out the front door. He's not sure he's ever mustered that much self-control not to turn around and to grab at Steve's shirt to pull him in.

Steve's fingers curl around the door pull at the light-blue wooden door that shields a private part from curious eyes. "Danny, I'm good. I said yes and I'll show you my garden. It's just – no one ever saw it. I haven't – there hasn't been anyone further than this door and I'm kind of – kind of nervous but I want to show you, make you see."

Danny approaches carefully. He places his mug on the small table on the way over. "Make me see what?"

"That I'm not just the broken guy you helped putting back together just now." Steve pressed the handle down. The door clicks open and with his hand sprawled wide on the wooden surface, he pushes the door wide open. "Follow me."

Danny steps through the door like through a guarded gate and finds himself in a different world. He knows instantly why Steve hides this place from the public, guards it with everything. It's not the plants or the amount of green that embraces Danny in a way he has never felt plants and flowers and trees before but it's what hovers over this secret place of peace. It's the pieces in Steve's soul that aren't damaged, aren't eaten up by cruelty and death. This place is vibrant with life and love. So much love.

Danny gasps. He can't take another step in his shoes. It's not right. He has to _feel_. He wants to touch the earth with the sole of his feet, just like Steve. Danny toes off his loafers and pulls his socks off. He has to close his eyes when his bare feet step on Hawai'ian soil. It's wet and cool and soft.

Steve's smile grows wider again as if Danny has passed the first important test. God, what a weird, intense day.

"Did you grow and built that all by yourself?" Danny spreads his arms wide open to take in just everything. The variety of flowers, bushes, small trees, pots, and flowerbeds are an orchestra of beauty and care. The silent melody of wholeness tugs at Danny's heartstrings. The strain to keep the balance of the two worlds is visible on Steve's face. It's like darkness and light and Steve stands in the middle holding both worlds together. It's breathtakingly beautiful and painful at the same time.

"Mostly. This place belonged to my mother's family. I inherited it when she died. She passed it on to me because she knew how important it has been, since the first time she took me with her to help with the seedlings. She had a green thumb, like her mother. I've got her talent to grow things."

"I'm sorry, man, to hear you lost your mother."

"Thanks. She was sick, cancer. She never showed us how much pain she had to fight. She always had a smile for me and Mary. We lost her when I was sixteen. It's a long time ago. She's still here though –" Steve stops talking.

Danny can't look at him. "I'm glad you have something to remember her. It's good she lives on in the plants. It's powerful. Beautiful even." The picture of a small boy and his mother, laughing with their hands in the soil, rushes through Danny's mind.

The little, covered lanai is tidy and stocked with two battered wooden chairs and a small table. Sun-bleached worn pillows lie on the chairs. And countless flower pots with a variety of plants and flowers in different stages of growth frame the small, comfortable chill-zone. Watering pots stand lined up, filled with water at one side, right next to the wall with the garden tools. Time stands still in this perfect place where another tide of the world's ocean rises.

"You have a cat?" Danny points astonished at the two bowls in a corner of the lanai. One was filled with dry food and the other one with water.

Steve steps up to his side, closer and with a shy hesitation as if he wasn't still sure about how Danny takes in all the information he spills so freely. Steve breathes a soft chuckle. "Not exactly. I would love to adopt this little guy but he's too shy. It's a stray, a tabby cat. He drops by almost every evening. He sleeps on one of the chairs. I can't touch him yet. It's a he because – big balls, you know." Steve snorts. "He's a wild one. He survives somehow out here but I want him to have a place to refuel his strength and to take a nap when he feels like."

This new cat information does funny things to Danny's heart. "Who takes care of the place and the cat when you're, uh, not around?"

Steve gaze wanders over his small, safe, green kingdom. "Mary and Kawika. Mostly Mary, my sister. I need to know she looks after the wild, brave cat when I'm not here. But I'm not going anywhere anymore."

Danny ignores the last bit. That's a too sensitive topic to touch now. "Where does Mary live?" Danny has decided to ask as much as Steve lets him.

"She's my neighbor. She lives close to the ocean in a beautiful house with her husband Kawika. They looked after my house when I was gone."

"You're good with your sister?"

"Yeah," Steve plays with his toes in the soft soil.

"Do you mind me asking questions?" Danny can't stop himself from getting positive confirmation.

"No," Steve shoots him a side-glance.

"What about your father?"

"He's remarried and lives with his wife about a one-hour drive from our place. We don't get along so great. I live in my parent's house but it's big and it's just me there, so – "

"You prefer this place," Danny fills in the gap.

Steve nods with his hand shoved down his back pockets.

The setting sunlight gets reflected in something hanging on the wall right above a shelf lined up with wonderful big blossomy flowers.

"Why plants? Why flowers? Even if you inherited your mother's talent, I would have imagined you more with cars or even small planes, motorbikes You know, stuff like that, wild and dangerous but not flowers and tender plants that need so much care to grow." Danny asks while he walks over to have a look at the bright reflection where the sunlight gets caught. 

Steve's right behind him and waits to reply. Danny steps onto the wooden floor of the lanai and is about to reach out to grab that shiny thing when he hears Steve sharply draw air into his lungs. He stops and freezes. He pulls his hand instantly back when he recognizes what he's spotted.

Dog tags.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and for your patience! Love you guys!


	6. Light Part II

Dog tags – _no one_ , no one touches a soldier's dog tags without permission. Danny knows that from a documentary he once saw about war veterans. It's a piece of their soul, of their devotion and it's extremely private. He feels how Steve relaxes behind his back. Danny knows Steve would have swatted his hand away if he had tried to grab the dog tags. He's so glad he's passed that test, too.

Steve stays where he feels safe, hidden. He does not step up and Danny's face is turned toward the wall. Two chains, each hang from a simple nail on the wall. Danny can read the imprinted names though. _Steven Jack McGarrett_ and the second one, much more worn and battered, says the same name. Danny levels his breathing.

Steve speaks in a low voice. "In my line of duty, I've seen too much death. The base and the training camps can only do that much to get you ready for the real deal. You're never ready enough for what you're about to live through when deployed. It gets to you – to everyone – after a few years in."

Danny's eyes take in the small metal plates worn by their owners for years around their necks. The way they are put on the wall clenches his heart – they're discarded. The picture speaks of finality. One image that tells an entire story arching over ten volumes of human strength and utter devotion. Danny hardly stands to look at such raw intimacy. He doesn't even try to calm his racing heart.

Steve keeps talking, "you can't shake it even if you believe so at the beginning. We pretend it's not there. No one wants it but everyone deals in their own way with that shit." A longer pause makes Danny believe Steve has left. He doesn't break the spell of the moment. He gives Steve the time, he needs. "As a kid, you're afraid of the monsters under your bed. As a grown-up, serving your country, you're not afraid of any monsters until you meet them in your head." 

Danny slowly turns around. He doesn't try to pretend. The chills of the words he's just heard drill into his bones. Steve controls the emotional reflection in his eyes. Danny only sees struggle and pain when Steve lets him. Steve's eyes are the only place where he could slip and someone could catch a glimpse of what lies beneath: where the purgatory of what he has witnessed burns on, keeping the monsters in his head alive. Otherwise, Steve stands out of the crowd due to his ridiculous great looks. No one on the street would assume this perfect shell of a body holds an eroded soul, worn down with ears of combat.

"Why the plants?" Danny wonders since he has bought the seldom flower for his aunt. And he desperately needs Steve to get rid of that robot-like look on his face. 

Steve pushes his hands down his front pockets. He dips his head and hides his face. Danny can see how the tension creeps back and hardens Steve's muscles to a point where he's stiff as a statue. "Plants grow. Most plants sleep at night. They rest and they wait for the sun to wake them. Bushes, trees, flowers – they reach out, and with all they've got, they face sunlight. They grow stronger, grow bigger, make roots that hold them steady, embedded in the soil. They survive because they need light." Danny hears Steve swallow. His voice is even lower, almost a whisper between the wind in the leaves when he speaks again. "I need this – the light and the growing. I – all that. It helps." Steve makes an ashamed gesture, a flailing hand in the dusk to play it down. "God, this sounds so cheesy."

Danny's skin is too small for his body. He works his jaw and hopes his throat doesn't close up with the jammed emotions he can hardly contain.

"I'm a SEAL. Ex-SEAL." Words, spoken so tense and thin Danny almost misses them.

"That's why the dog tags are there and not around your neck?" Danny clears his throat.

Steve turns his head and makes it impossible for Danny to read on his face how hard it is to be out of the tightly knitted circle. Steve walks through blazing fire every time his eyes wander over to the two chains hanging on the wall. Danny can't even imagine how Steve feels. How has he ever thought he could make a difference? Love? Meaningful things? Danny wouldn't even know where to begin. Pfft, _God_ , what's up with him? It's ridiculous. Steve lives in an entirely different orbit, unreachable, unattainable. _Not his league_.

"To who belongs the second pair? It's the same name on them, Steven McGarrett."

"It's my grandfather's, Steven Jack McGarrett. Ensign McGarrett. He perished on the U.S.S Arizona during the attack on Pearl Harbor, December 1941."

How can a piece of metal stand for the very soul of its bearer?

Danny's gaze gets drawn to the man in front of him, wearing threadbare jeans and standing barefoot in the golden light of the sinking sun. Love hot like fiery anger boils in Danny's stomach. He watches Steve, surrounded by a garden he has created so he won't drown in blood and despair and anguish. This green ocean is Steve's embodied back-up plan to survive would he ever make it back from the war alive. Danny's exhausted. Steve stays silent.

They watch the sunset. They still stand on the same spot when the shadows of the night grow longer and darker.

Danny's cell rings disgustingly loud in his pants pocket. He shakes his head to get rid of the dazed feeling in his head. "Chin? Yeah, sure. Give me the address I'll meet you there. Yep, see you in ten." Danny stares at this phone. Has he been that much out? He's forgotten about work completely since he has set foot in Steve's green world. Unbelievable.

"I gotta go," Danny points at his cell, "we've got a case." He could really need a break to get his head straight again.

"Sure," is all Steve answers.

The world is too loud after the reverent moments in the garden even if grief and loss have been woven into the open space between words and glances. It's was so exceptional Danny has nothing more to say. He has no idea how to catalog this afternoon with Steve. He's overwhelmed. He's glad Chin called with a case. He needs some time alone. And there's more he doesn't know how to deal with. Steve tries to disguise he's not staring at Danny's chest or how his eyes stealthily crawl back up to his lips. This throws Danny even more.

Danny curls his fingers around the steering wheel. He lowers the window and braces his elbow on the frame of the open window. Steve walks over to him. He's still wearing the same tank top and jeans. The dirt on his clothes gives him a wild, untamed look. Steve doesn't seem to care how he looks. Danny can't take the smooth shift of strong muscles beneath sun-tanned skin any longer without losing control. He wants to touch and to smell with closed eyes like the primal side of his masculinity screams at him.

Steve bends down, one hand on the roof of the car the other still in the front pocket. He meets Danny's eyes head-on. "Raincheck on lunch?"

Danny holds Steve's piercing look. He nods brusquely, "raincheck on lunch."

And then nothing. Two men breathing and staring. Danny's stomach is heavy with suppressed emotions and the wish to yank himself free from the strong pull Steve's presence has on him.

"Do you make me say it?" Steve's jawline is sharp, his lips a thin line.

"Say what?" Danny breathes. He sweats in places he can't stand when it's not during sex. 

Steve stretches to his full height and taps the roof of the car with his palm. "How can I reach you? Care to give me your number?"

Danny feels like the world's biggest dork. What did he expect? A kiss? And crazy SEAL stunt to yank him out of the car into Steve's massive arms? God, it's time for him to hit the road. "Sure yeah, it's 808-925-1717. Sorry, I've nothing to write it down –"

"I got it." Steve steps away from the car.

"Okayyy?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, see you. Bye." Danny turns the key and rolls off Steve's property. He watches in the rear mirror how Steve's figure gets smaller. He stands and waits and watches after Danny's car. He misses Steve's face the moment he can't see it anymore. The shape of Steve's body and the way he chews at his bottom lip is something he already wants in his life.

Steve watches Danny leave. He stands in the dark long after the Camaro's taillights have vanished between the thick green. He can't move. His chest is wide open. He feels the surf hitting the shore even if miles away. Sea means comfort and calmness. He's one with the water's movements. It's what carries him through hard times.

His fingers twitch. They feel empty. The front of his abs burns with the memory of arm muscles. Muscles hard as a rock. Steve closes his eyes and waits until the inner struggle ebbs away, giving space to numbness and a softer shade of despair. Every evening by nightfall he undergoes the same procedure: senseless questions shoot holes in his brain. What the fuck should he do with his life? How to move on? Where to start?

The night seems lighter today. He listens and thinks the wind carries the faint sound of an engine over to him. He imagines how Danny guns the engine to get to his task, his purpose, his job. And all Steve has is too much time at hand he cannot make pass faster.

Danny.

Steve vividly remembers the phone call he had with Kamekona when his friend told him about Danny. He was so angry he couldn't see straight. His fear and the fury made him almost spit fire. Kame made a decision without his consent. He was so sorry afterward, ashamed of how he lost it. He hung his head and sincerely apologized for his choice of words on the phone.

_"Why are you calling again, Kame? You waste your time. I said already 'no' the first time. I don't want – no, YOU listen, man. I'm not interested! Fuck! How many times do you make me say it? Get it into your thick, stubborn head! It's a fucking NO from me!"_

_"We've agreed on the no-yelling, brah. It's time, dude. Sell your flowers, make some nice money. You could easily reforest the entire island with the crazy number of green you've stashed in your garden, brah. Wassup, man? Go for it, Mary's with me on this one. Time to learn to move on. Open a shop, go business, go big, dude. Get to know people."_

_"Don't you dare to drag Mary into this and don't try to sugarcoat it, Kamekona. It's still a huge NO. Don't – "_

_"He's good for you, brah."_

_"I don't want to sell my flowers to an arrogant haole, a freaking detective –" ___

_"You don't even know him, man. You're a haole, too, buddy."_

_"We went to the same high school, Kame. What the fuck, man? I grew up here. It's MY island, too! And no, no, NO! I do NOT sell my babies to any-fucking-body! You got that, big guy? What does this haole even know?"_

_"He's different –"_

_"I don't care, Kame! Not happening! Not HPD, not the Governor, not the Queen of goddamn England – I don't fucking care! I don't sell my plants! And I don't want a stupid shop either. Stop pushing, you only get me angry."_

_"Stop with the yelling already. Don't make me use keiki-talk, Steve-brah. Danny's good for you. He's a haole, yeah, but he's just the right person –"_

_"What the hell is wrong with you? Got food poisoning? What's this bullshit all about? You hit your head one too many times, man. He's a white boy from the mainland, Kamekona. Jesus fucking Christ! Do you even hear yourself, huh? You, of all people, YOU want to send a stranger from fucking New Jersey over to my secret place?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"I don't need people, Kame, I need to be left the FUCK alone. No, I don't want him here."_

_"Kawika feels it too. C'mon, Steve –"_

_"Don't mess with me. I'm in no mood to be messed with. Shit! I don't need this spiritual crap from you guys about having a sixth sense. I'll drop by and blow up your fucking truck if you don't spit it out why THE HELL I need to sell my flowers to an arrogant cop I don't even fucking know!"_

_"I dunno if he's arrogant but Danny's solid soulmate material."_

_"You – I can't even. What the hell? Soulmate? My Ass. Are you fucking kidding me? I can't believe the ridiculous shit you're telling me, Kame. That one is even super low for you. Go fuck yourself."_

__Steve remembers how he screamed into the phone. He was so close to driving over to murder his friend and to bury his body somewhere on the island. He almost burst at the seams with fury but most of all he was ashamed to lose it. He so lost it. He wanted to punch this Danny guy in the face the moment he'd pull up to his place._ _

_"I'm a freak, Kame. Don't you get that? Messed up to the point of no return. I have fucking panic attacks. I can't sleep and I see stuff I shouldn't. What the ever-loving fuck do you think you're doing by sending me this guy over, huh? I don't believe in fairytales anymore and stupid love stories make me want to puke. I know my limits. You just made me want to punch something so hard my knuckles would break. I'm so goddamn angry I can't see straight. Happy now? You're such an asshole!"_

_"You're done, man?"_

_"Yeah, I'm done."_

_"We Hawai'ians know things, brah. You, Steve, you feel the ocean in your blood. I feel different vibes coming from the stars, just like Kawika or Mamo. We know, brah, we just know. We feel the 'Aina' of the land. She talks to us. Your inner darkness needs light. Danny's light. Don't shot him in the leg, dude. Play nice. Danny's good for you."_

He would never admit it out loud but sometimes, Kame and Kawika scare him a little. 

Steve stays restless for the rest of the night. The fluttering in his stomach worries him the most. He's scared he might skid into another fit. But nothing happens. The strange, strong sensation won't disappear. His stomach kind of does some funny swoops he can't control. 

He lies in bed on his back with his hands spread wide over his nervous abs. His pulse rabbits under his skin. He stares at the ceiling and listens to the sounds of the night. He sees Danny's face when he closes his eyes. He shuts them often just to feel the comfort he can't explain. The revelation hits him hard. His eyes fly open but he stays motionless and just breathes. Steve feels the trickle of sweat running over the temple into his hair.  
The label for that odd sensation lies on his tongue. It's so ridiculous he doesn't want to say it out loud. He would have barked a laugh if he was able to move. But he's thunderstruck by the fact that it has caught him off guard. He's been ambushed without realizing it. It's so obvious and _so there_ , it frightens him. He can feel these little fuckers in his stomach. The dawning realization is worth a little anxiety fit. 

_Butterflies._

Steve turns to the side and buries his face in the pillow. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	7. Metamorphosis Part I

"Hey, Tanaka wants results on the case, asap. We need to come up with something useful today. He's pissed. He breathes down our neck. I hate it when he does that. We need hard proof to get that damn search warrant." Kono shoves a coffee to go under Danny's nose and hops up to sit on his desk.

Danny turns his phone upside down and pretends he hasn't been checking again if Steve had texted.

"What are you doing?" Kono's eyes are on his cell.

"Nothing."

"Uh-huh."

The hustle and bustle at HPD is intense with all the cops coming and going. An angry drunk shouts obscenities into the open space of the office where he sits cuffed to the chair next to Meka's desk. Danny watches the old woman who has lost her parrot. The poor woman clutches her purse and looks overwhelmed with what's going on at the police station.

"Kono, make sure Duke takes care of that lady over there. She's too old to sit for so long and she misses her pet. Can you do that?" Danny grabs his coffee and hopes Kono drops the thing with his phone. "Duke's always good with confused, old ladies. He'll make her feel safe and he'll find her bird."

"He's on his way back from questioning a witness. I'll call him and tell him. What's the plan for today?" Kono dials a number on her cell and looks expectantly at Danny.

"Let's check those bank accounts again. We need to find out how they get that money off the island. How they sell the puppies." Danny rattles down the points on their to-do list. He reaches for the case files with their suspects. "I'll comb through our interrogation protocols again to find the needle in the haystack. This lumberjack guy lies. We need some results fast. I wanna get back to the guy's house. I don't mind to punch the asshole in the face. We need to find the drugs and the puppies. God, I hate cases with puppy trafficking. People are so sick." Danny gets up and signals Kono to follow him.

"Where are we going?" Kono hops off the desk to catch up with him.

"I need a quiet place. I can't think in here. It's a mess and too loud. Let's go and sit at Kame's place. Maybe he knows stuff we don't. Let's work together."

"Tanaka wouldn't approve." Kono teases.

"I don't care shit about what Tanaka approves. He wants results. He'll get results. Come on, let's get out of here."

Danny checks his phone again. He can't fight that strong pull to _just check_ on the incoming texts. It's pathetic and he's aware of that. But still. Damn it. Nothing. Danny senses the same dull tweak of disappointment when all he sees is the screensaver. It's Grace's picture. He loves Grace but still, he had expected a least _one_ text from Steve. It's been days since he's watched Steve getting smaller in the rear mirror. 

Grace's beloved face makes him smile of course. It's not that he doesn't love to look at a picture of his baby girl. But he would have liked if Steve had acted on that rain check. Steve hasn't texted in nearly six days. Not one lousy letter and it's messing with Danny's mood. No one needs to point out how stupid he behaves. Rationally Danny can deal with it, emotionally he can't. He worries Steve might have forgotten his number. But hey, he's ex-elite force. He should draw those few numbers from his mind with ease. And that leads Danny to the conclusion he tries to avoid. The one where the only logical explanation would be that Steve's just not interested and that he's forgotten about Danny.

Danny checks again, just to be sure he hasn't missed anything. He waits until Kono opens the door for him. His eyes are glued to the small display.

"Danny, we need to talk." Kono pushes the door open.

"About what?" He slips the cell into his back pocket.

"I've created a tally sheet to log how many times you've checked your phone since you've walked through that door this morning." Kono grins. "The log-ins are from five days. There's something going on. You never check your phone that often unless you expect something. It's not work-related I can tell. I smell romance in the air." Kono has this predator smile on her face Danny has learned to fear. She has tasted blood. Danny's in deep trouble. "You've met someone." That's not even a question. She's made a statement as if she sees right through him.

Danny's lost for words. "You did what? A tally sheet? What happened to privacy? And by the way, it's none of your business."

"You work with a bunch of crazy cops. Yes, it's my business. You're distracted all the time. Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

"I don't know? I guess? Could you just shut up about it? It's nothing." Danny defends himself. 

"Hey, you just stood there, waiting for me to open the goddamn door for you because you were so busy with checking your phone!" Kono shouts. "Tell me!"

"No."

"It's my business too when it affects your work."

"It doesn't affect my work!"

"I brought you coffee. Every damn day! Give me at least some details. The big picture! Who's this person who makes you forget about _everything_ around you."

Danny stops dead in his tracks and gapes at her. "You brought me coffee hoping I would feed you some rom-com shit you just made up?"

"It was your favorite coffee, brah! Kamekona doesn't break either. He won't say a damn word!"

Danny can't even throw his hands in the air. He holds on to his coffee and to the files he picked from under his arm. "You did _what_??"

"I asked Kame what's up with you. He wouldn't say but his face twitched. You know the way it does when he hides something. But he wouldn't budge. So, that only means that something important is going on and you guys, have a secret you won't tell me. And that secret is related to you and the constant checking your phone!"

The smile splits Danny's face in half. "You're a damn good cop, Kono-san."

"Don't, nuh-huh, don't Kono-san me, not working, Danny! Who is it? You try to hide everything. It's extremely suspicious."

"Get it, shut up, and don't make me push you out the door when we're on the highway," Danny grumbles. "We take your car. You drive. I go through the files on our way to Kame." Danny inhales and rolls his eyes. "And no more questions, Kono, I mean it."

Danny's phone rings. He jerks to the unexpected sound. Kono snickers with her eyes all over him. She doesn't miss a single detail. 

"Eyes on the road, Kono. Jesus!"

"You're smiling like a stupid idiot." She says.

Danny's too busy to reach for his phone. It's Rachel. His stomach drops fast. The disappointment makes him bite the inside of his cheek.

"That's not the person you have expected." Kono leans in and reads the caller ID on the screen. She has no feelings for personal boundaries. She's a pain in the ass today.

"Kono! For fuck's sake, watch the road!"

"Brah, you act strange. All tense and shit. I don't like it. Spill it already, dude."

Danny scoffs an answer but takes Rachel's call. "Rachel, what's up? Everything's fine? Is Grace okay?"

When he hangs up Kono just takes one look at him and is all serious again. "Danny? What's up? What do you need?"

"Can you drive me to the hospital?"

"Whoa! Something happened?" She shouts.

"No, God no. Nothing. Rachel's fine, Grace's fine." Danny runs his hand over his face. "You know, I told you Rachel undergoes in vitro fertilization because she and Stan can't get pregnant. She got the call. She has a two-hour window to harvest one of her eggs. She's at the hospital. Stan's in a meeting. She has Grace and she's scared and upset. I'm her backup if Stan can't be there. I'll look after Grace when she's under. Can we make a detour to the hospital?" Danny explains.

"Sure, brah, whatever you need."

Kono drops him off and snatches the case files out of his hand. "Leave this to me. I'm at Kame's. Call me if you need anything. Be with Grace and let Rachel do what she came to do. Stan's on his way. I called the office. I'll come and pick you up. Call me, okay?"

"Thanks, Kono. I owe you." Danny's thoughts are already somewhere else.

"No, you don't owe me a single thing, Danny-san. You're _ohana_ but you're not off the hook about your secret romance."

Danny sighs and shakes his head. He combs his fingers through the ruffled hairdo. He watches how Kono filters back into traffic. 

The reception at the fertility center/the child birthing ward is painted in calm and friendly colors. The staff is always caring and supportive. Danny has mixed feelings to step into this realm where sadness and happiness are equally balanced. He and Rachel had never any difficulties getting pregnant. He feels deeply sorry for Stan and Rachel.

"Danno!" A loud, high-pitched voice called his name. With her pigtails flying Grace runs right into his open arms. 

"Hi, monkey! Hey, love to see you, baby-girl. Everything's fine?"

"I don't like this place." Grace wraps her small arms around his neck.

"I'll make sure mommy is fine and then we head outside to check-out that awesome-looking playground, okay?"

Grace nods and holds on to him. Danny carries his daughter over to where Rachel gets checked her personal details. "Hi, Rachel, how are you?"

"Hi, Daniel. Thank you so much for coming on such short notice. I didn't have anyone else to call." She sniffs but stands tall. She's a brave woman. Danny's glad they've worked hard to become friends for the sake of Grace's happiness. They're good parents.

"Hey, everything's going to be fine. I'm here. I'll take care of Grace. Kono called Stan. He's on his way. You go and make sure you're one step closer to having a baby, okay?" Danny gently pets her shoulder. She seems so upset and nervous. Her eyes are big. She wears the stress like a cloak around her shoulders. The mood of her mother makes Grace cling to Danny. He holds her tightly to assure that everything is okay.

Rachel bites her lips. She shows a watery smile. "Thank you, a lot, Daniel. Can you – can you make sure Stan comes and finds me once he's here?"

"Yes, will do."

"Okay, I'll give you a call when I'm done." Rachel strokes Grace's back, "bye baby, mommy's back soon. Stay with Danno, okay?"

Danny and Grace wave Rachel goodbye. They watch until the automatic doors with the blinded glass close behind her back. Danny's gaze falls on a heavily pregnant woman who sits in the waiting area holding her round belly with her arms. She looks a bit stressed and her bangs are wet. Her cheeks are flushed. She sits there with her eyes closed and seems to breathe in a calming pattern. She's so young. Danny feels the distinct protective instinct kicking in. He hopes she's not alone and there's a loving husband who takes good care of her.

Grace wiggles in his arms. "Danno, can we go now?"

"Of course, monkey. Let's go and have some fun."

The automatic doors open again and a tall, dark, handsome man walks over to the blond, young woman. He wears cargo pants, dark, solid boots, and a rumpled navy-blue V-neck shirt hanging out of his pants. Danny recognizes the tattoos first. The way the guy walks over to the pregnant woman looks so familiar. Danny imagines bare feet and worn blue jeans and a lot of dirt.

Steve.

Danny hears Grace babbling and complaining. He holds onto her and watches Steve. He carries a bottle of water and sits down next to the beautiful-looking soon-to-be-mama. He gently brushes at the wet strands of hair to get it out of her eyes. Danny just stares at the perfect picture. He should have known it. Guys like Steve are taken, no matter the damage they carry around. Danny bites his tongue and swallows a pain so sharp as if stabbed in the gut.

The young woman must have said something because Steve's head darts around and he meets Danny's eyes. Danny hears the nurse at the reception talking on the phone. He realizes how Grace wants to be let down but he only sees Steve and the way he takes him in. The way his eyes shoot to Grace and back to him, and how he shuts down. How he pushes Danny away without saying a single word, or even twitching a finger. Steve doesn't smile, doesn't show he knows him. Danny feels deeply hurt and when he's hurt, he gets bold.

"Come on, Grace. I need to say 'hi' to a friend and I promise we're leaving after that." He puts Grace down and takes her small hand in his.

"Hi, Steve. Nice to meet you. I didn't know you're going to be a father soon. Congratulations." He says with the sweetest smile he finds in him. The hurt is like wet sand that pulls him down.

Steve clenches his jaw and stays silent. His gaze gets all soft when he looks at Grace though. "Hi, sweetheart, what's your name?"

Grace hugs Danny's leg and hides her face at his thigh. He protectively shields her by hugging her shoulder before he cups the back of her head. "That's Grace, my daughter."

Steve withdraws even more. He shuts down in a way Danny only senses and it hurts. _It hurts_. And he knows he has no right to feel hurt because he has no claim on this man.

"Okay, guys, I don't know what's this all about but Steve, you're rude. Just say 'hi' to your friend. God, Punk, where are your manners?" The young woman grunts and pushes herself to sit upright with her legs spread wide to make space for her round belly. Steve's immediately at her side to help her.

Danny's afraid she's going to pop any minute. "I'm Danny, hi, nice to meet you. Steve and I only met once. He might not recognize me. I wish you all the best and I hope you're doing fine. When is your due date?"

The woman's mouth falls open. She grabs Danny's hand with both hands and keeps it sandwiched in hers. "You are Danny?" She gasps. "Wow!"

A shudder of excitement ripples through Danny's chest.

Steve jerks out of his stupor. "Mary," his voice carries a warning tone, "just – please? Could you not?"

Grace whispers too loud that this woman has a baby in her belly. This makes even Steve smile. 

"I'm Mary. It's so nice to meet you, Danny. Steve talked about you and I'm so happy to meet you. He promised I might one day but you know I'm impatient. And here you are. And I'm not due for two weeks. But our little sweetheart makes her own rules. It was a false alarm. I told Steve but he freaked out and wanted to go to the hospital to be sure. He's my brother, by the way, _my big brother_. Kawika, my husband, is on his way but he wasn't there when it happened."

Danny has a tight grip on his features. The odd mix of emotions makes him sleepy. What does all this even mean that Mary just spilled with this cute smile on her face? He can't look at Steve.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mary. I'm glad everything's fine." He wants to add more like thank you for taking good care of Steve or any similar, emotional shit he has no right to say but Mary's name gets called.

Danny turns to spot a good-looking man, dark skin, curly hair who jogs over to kneel at Mary's side. "Hi, baby, I came as fast as possible. How are you? How's our little nuglet?" The man kisses Mary's belly with so much love and devotion Danny has to look away.

"All the best to you, guys. I take Grace outside to play."

"Danny, wait!" Mary speaks up. "Kawika I want you to meet Danny. Danny, meet Kawika, my husband."

There's a glint of recognition in Kawika's eyes. His handshake is solid, strong, and full of trust. "Nice to finally meet you, Danny." 

Danny's isn't far behind with being brilliant at filling in the gaps. "You're a friend of Kame."

Kawika's smile is blindingly open and kind. "Yes, and thank you."

Danny knows instantly he's referring to Steve and what has happened almost a week ago. Steve has talked about him with his loved ones. Danny's mood rises like a morning sun. He feels great. "You take care of your sweet wife."

"I will." Kawika turns and pulls Steve into a fierce embrace. They seem to be very close.

"Danny," Steve's voice makes him stop again, "I'll come with you and Grace if you don't mind?" That's the first sentence Steve says since they've met again.

"Sure, let's go." 

On the way out, Graces holds on to Danny's hand and peeps up at Steve who walks beside her. Out of the corner of his eyes, Danny sees how Steve gifts her with lovely smiles until she giggles. Danny's heart just flips over in his chest.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	8. Matamorphosis Part II

They watch Grace play. Danny stays close the to climbing frame with all the ropes to make sure he could run to the rescue if his girl should get into trouble. Steve mimics a statue and stays silent for a long time. Danny's tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth. All the great remarks he figured he could throw at Steve dissolve into a fog.

He learns once more how difficult it is to transport a special, magical mood into a normal Wednesday. Steve seems to be miles away. The bonding moment they've experienced is non-existent. Danny can't stand the silence any longer. If he wants the quiet, he hikes to the top of a damn mountain or goes snorkeling. "Hey, you okay there, Steve?" He side-eyes the tall, dark, handsome guy next to him.

Steve licks his lips and squints into the bright sunlight. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"You had, uh, a scare this morning with Mary, rattles every man. We think pregnant women are fragile but God, believe me, they're not."

Steve shoots him a thoughtful glance. "You speak from experience, I think. You're a father. You have a sweet girl." 

Danny knows Steve doesn't mean to sound reproachful, but his words affect him. "Yes, that's my baby girl. I'm a proud father. We have the life we choose. Or sometimes life chooses us." 

"So, you're married? Do you plan on having more children? I haven't seen your wife." Steve gets braver. He even turns and stands closer to Danny. Danny likes where this is going. Steve's checking the turf.

"I was married. Rachel and I have worked hard to become friends for Grace's sake. And no, no more kids on the way. I'm divorced and, uh, I'm single." Danny can't look at Steve. The urge to explain is still pressuring behind his chest. He kind of swipes the playground with his eyes. He hopes he sounds nonchalantly enough. "I'm here for Grace. Today, I mean. It's uh, Rachel, her mother, has an appointment and her husband's not here yet. I'm an emergency backup. Didn't expect to run into you on the maternity ward, though." Danny twists his upper body to check up on Steve's mood. "I honest to God thought Mary's your wife." Okay, his heartbeat just picked up speed. His mouth is as dry as the Gobi Desert.

Steve goes quiet again. Danny senses his troubled mind and wished Steve would be a bit more responsive. It's no fun to talk to a menhir. Danny doesn't get easily pushed out of his comfort zone. But add emotions to the mix and he's as light as a feather in strong wind. Jeez. Danny purses his lips. He fights the urge to assure Steve he's into guys too and that there's nothing wrong with the circumstance to have a family with a woman and why the hell does he even bother? This guy drives him nuts. Danny's armpits are uncomfortably wet.

"No, Mary's my younger sister. I wouldn't be a good father, I guess. I wouldn't know what to do with a helpless bundle, too scared to mess up. I don't know. I've never had to make that decision –" Steve bends his head and watches his shoes, "if I wanna be a father I mean. Hasn't happened so far." He adds.

"Hey, you did well. You made sure Mary's well taken care of." 

"We had a big argument before she let me maneuver her into my truck to drive her to the hospital. She's so stubborn. I found her on all four, doing garden work. I freaked. She had cramps and I was so scared. She said, she overdid it and that's all. She just wanted to lie down until everything would calm down. But I couldn't – " Steve rubs with his fist at his forehead. "I got so scared. I had this horror movie running through my mind. I saw how she gave birth, collapsing out on the lawn behind the house or something like this. I needed to bring her here. I can handle tough calls but not when it's my baby sister nine months pregnant with my niece. I've just lost my nerves, I guess." Steve laughs bashfully. "Not my bravest moment."

"You did good, Steve. Mary's going to be fine and she'll be okay. You'll see, nature knows how to do what needs to be done when it's time. Women give birth since humanity exists. Kawika is with her. You're fine and I know you're going to spoil your niece rotten once she's born."

Steve smiles at him and Danny's bones turn into useless goo. "Why haven't you texted? Called? I thought you wanted to get that rain check on lunch?" Danny chews on his bottom lip. His eyes scan the playground to make sure Grace isn't in any danger. "I've waited for your call." Should he have said that? Too much pressure, no, he shouldn't have said that. 

Steve clears his throat. "Yeah, about that. I, uh, I was hungry, but I got caught up in work. You know, uhm, I had to get the seedlings into the ground. I would have – would have called, you know? But days," Steve steps closer, still with his arms crossed over his chest as if he has to hug himself, "days sometimes flow into each other and I can't really say how much time has passed. It's been almost a week since we've met and when time passes the things that happened start to shape in something else. I wasn't – it was an intense afternoon. I, uhm," Steve draws a breath before he continues, "you saw me at the worst. I wasn't sure if you wanted to, you know, go for lunch, have a chat. I'm not the funny average guy to talk about the weather over chicken salad." 

Danny has his eyes on Grace. He wants to give Steve the space to have his mini freak-out about the fact he might have scared Danny off. He ignores how the heat in the pit of his stomach flows in all directions. "You forgot my number." Danny states calmly, "just say it, Steve. Be honest. I'm not offended. Okay a bit, yes, a bit. I'm offended a bit that you forgot my number." Danny rocks on his heels back and forth while he rambles. "I expected a SEAL, even a SEAL buried up to his nose in flowers and plants to remember a few, easy numbers. Don't you get trained for that? I thought you're tough multitasking guys. The Army is a fun club." 

Steve stiffens and scoffs. "I haven't _forgotten_ your number. It's 808-925-1717. Happy? And it's the Navy, Danny. The _Navy_."

Danny can't believe how fast Steve falls for that dumb joke. "God, you're so easy to tease. Don't be so uptight about it. Look at you, all puffed out chest and standing at attention. I know, man, it's the Navy. I didn't mean to offend you." He hopes his smile is appeasing. "Good to know you didn't forget my number." He darts a look at Steve and sees how he sets his jaw to keep his lips from being pulled into a grin. Instead, he gazes off into the distance and fishes his cell from the pocket and unlocks the screen.

Two seconds later, Danny's cell rings. He takes the call with the unknown caller ID. "Yeah, Detective Williams, HPD – who's it?" He frowns hard at Steve who stands there like a boy who has all fun doing a silly prank.

"Yeah, Detective Williams, McGarrett here, Steve McGarrett. Do you remember me?"

"Yes, you big goof. The _Army_ guy, isn't it?" Danny can't control the laughter. He really needed to say that.

Steve glares at him, for real this time. "You owe me a fat rain check on lunch and for being too dense to know the difference between the Army and the Navy. I'm hungry. Lunch. Today. You're paying. You're in?"

"You know how stupid this is to stand three feet apart and to give me a call, don't you? I can hear you talking and the echo in my hear is strange. How old are you? Five?"

"You haven't answered my question." Steve still speaks into his phone and watches Danny at the same time.

"Yes. Lunch. Today. Good. I'm in. Where do you wanna go?" 

"Have you ever taken Grace to Kame's shrimp truck for Kame's specialty of the day? She'll love it."

Whenever Steve says Grace's name, Danny gets kind of dizzy with something he doesn't want to explore. Steve watches him with a gentle, kind expression. Too much for Danny's heart to stand for more than five seconds. "No, I haven't but Kame's place it is." He hangs up. 

"See?" Steve seems utterly satisfied, smug even. Danny notices Steve's faintly colored cheeks.

He has tried to keep the love at bay. The crazy beast of feelings is toying with him, tugging at the golden rope wound around his heart. But he can't hold it and he doesn't want to. The way Steve stands there, watching children playing, having a hawk-eye on Grace, makes it impossible for Danny to hold on to the rope that keeps the insane sensation in his heart controlled. He lets the leash go and stands his ground when the wave of feelings rushes through his body.

This guy is going to be the death of him. Danny's cell rings again. This time it's Stan. "Hi, Stan. Yeah, she's fine. Where are you? Give me a second. I'll meet you at the entrance. Yes, she asked me to make sure you'll find her." Danny's eyes search for Grace.

"Danny, it's fine. I'll take care of her. Go, go be with Stan. We'll wait for you right here, okay?" Steve squeezes Danny's shoulder with his large hand.

"You don't mind? You'll keep her safe?" Danny asks hesitantly. He never lets a stranger look after Grace. But Steve, Steve's different.

"Danny, I'll take care of her as if she's my daughter." This time, Steve blushes bright red but he doesn't correct himself. "I'm good at keeping people safe, especially your daughter. Go, Grace is safe with me."

Danny exhales and covers Steve's hand on his shoulder shortly with his own. He swallows. This man, God, he can totally feel the softness of Steve's lips pressed to his just by looking at his mouth. The bottom of his stomach drops out. Danny forces his eyes to stay above Steve's nose, but he gets distracted by the longest lashes he has ever seen on a guy. Steve waits for reassurance. Danny forces his eyes to focus. "Yeah, good. Thank you, Steve. I mean it. I'm back in a flash."

Danny still sees Steve's smile after he reunited Stan with Rachel and made sure they were good. He hurries back to the playground on the other side of the street. But –

He doesn't see Steve. Where the hell is he?

Danny runs faster. And where the hell is Grace?

For a split second, Danny's heart races and his muscles tremble faintly under the strain of too much tension. And then, he hears the lighthearted giggle from his little girl. He jogs over to where the sound comes from. He can't believe his eyes. This tough, combat-hardened SEAL sits on a seesaw with a bright grin on his face. Grace is safely tucked in between the handlebar and Steve's strong arms. He boxes her in to keep her safe. On the other side of the seesaw, three kids shout and laugh simultaneously. They try to fight the weight, to make the seesaw move. 

Danny bites the thick rope of emotions back that tries to strangle his throat. 

"Danno!" Grace screams and giggles with her head thrown back. She laughs at Steve and Steve looks down at her and answers her laugh with an even brighter grin.

No one ever has told Danny that happiness can be as sharp as a spear. The detonation of feelings almost has him bend over. "Monkey!" He waves and jogs closer. "What are you guys doing?"

Steve whispers something in her ear. "Winning!" His little girl screams on the top of her small lungs. The kids on the other side shout something back.

When they are safely back on the ground Grace throws herself into Danny's arms. "Danno, that was great! Steve is fun! We won!" She clings to him.

Danny hugs her extra tightly. He follows Steve's stance and the way his eyes search his, not letting go until he stands right next to Danny. 

"Thank you," Danny whispers.

"You're welcome, Danno." Steve has a way to roll the letters on his tongue that makes Danny want to bury his face in the curve of Steve's shoulder.

Danny puts Grace down and keeps an eye on Steve. "Danno is –" he downplays how much Steve makes him want to reinvent the world. He can't let Steve have that name in his mouth. He can't. "Danno is Grace's endearment for me. I – You can't, it's –" 

"I told Steve he could use it, too. He asked me." Grace grabs Danny's fingers and pulls him forward. 

Danny blinks. How long has he been away? Two days? "How much have you guys talked? I haven't been away that long!"

Steve shrugs.

"I'm hungry, Danno. Can we go now? Steve said we're going to see a friend. He has shaved ice and French fries."

Danny gawps as Steve. Steve stuffs his hands down the front pockets of his cargos. He looks only half-guilty. "I told her Kame has also lots of different salads and shrimps. And that her daddy knows what she likes for lunch."

"Good choice of words. Good choice." Danny furrows his brows and almost drowns in Steve's gaze. "Yeah, let's head to Kame's. I don't have a car. My HPD partner drove me."

"If that's the only thing that's holding us back, then – we're good." Steve jingles with the car keys. "My truck is over there. Let's go."

Danny has no memory of how they've ended up talking about dolphins. The air is saturated with a heavy scent of wind and sea and a wild beauty Danny has never sensed before. Grace cheerfully answers Steve's questions about the animals she loves the most. Sometimes she also screams their names. "I love fishes! I love dolphins!"

"Baby, tone it down. My ears ring when you shout like that. Dolphins aren't fish, Monkey. They belong to the mammals. They breathe air just like you." He twists on his seat to wink at his baby girl.

She's tiny with the seatbelt across her small chest. The black back seat almost swallows her up. It's huge. Steve's truck is huge and everything in it. She bends her knees and tucks them to her chest. She smiles one of her staggering happy smiles. "I love mamas!" She shouts and giggles at the same time. 

"Mammals. A difficult word but you're doing great." Danny's mood is dangerously close to soaring high. It's somewhere up in the stratosphere where rainbows get born and where space waste gets burned when entering the earth's atmosphere. But he couldn't care less.

Steve wears a small smile that makes him glow. Danny looks out of the window. His eyes would have betrayed him under one second flat. He inhales deeply to wallow in the scent of Steve's skin and the way his detergent wafts over to him, tickling his nose and making his heart ache.

"You love dolphins, Grace?"

"YES!" She yells.

"It's time we get some food into you, Grace-face. Look we're here!" Danny unbuckles the seatbelt and pushed the door open. Kame's place is busy with lunch guests. "Hey, Steve! Look! Isn't that Mary and Kawika over there? Whoa, Kono and Chin are also here. Kame's having the time of the day with all the money his getting out of us."

Steve jumps out of the car to scowl over where a bunch of people sit and talk. Danny touches his arm after he helped Grace out of the car. "Steve, you okay?"

"I – Mary's here. She should be lying in bed with her feet on a pillow not moving an inch until the baby's born. What is she doing here?"

"Come on, let's find out. And Steve, before you throw Mary in the back of your truck to drive her home, let Kawika handle it."

"I wouldn't do that!" Steve blurts.

"Maybe you believe that but the way you stare over at her I fear for her lunch. Go easy on her. She's fine Steve. Pregnant women gotta eat."

They get greeted with loud cheering. Kame is serving the first round. "Look what the cat dragged in. Danny with his little girl. It's time you bring her around. Sit down, _pua li'ili'i_. You hungry?"

Danny places Grace next to Kono. Too many people make her go all quiet and shy. Steve greets the bunch like they're old friends. Kono fires a gazillion questions at Danny only with her eyes. He just ignores her with an elegant move. "Mary, how are you. Is everything okay? Steve was a bit shocked to see you here. He's afraid you might overdo it again."

Mary wipes at her mouth with a napkin. "My brother," she makes sure Steve hears her, "thinks every time I get up our sweet little flower slips out as if I have any intentions to give birth standing upright." She laughs and Kawika pulls her protectively against his side. 

"Go easy on him, darling." Danny hears Kawika whisper.

Steve glares at Mary and steals a shrimp off her plate. "Look at your belly. It's so big. You're ripe like an apple. Let me worry okay?"

"Punk, relax. I'm fine. I was hungry. After lunch, Kawika takes me home. Happy?"

Steve takes her hand and has her look at him. "I'll drop by to check up on you."

"I love you, Punk," Mary whispers. "Thank you."

Steve thins his lips. He gifts her with a small smile but doesn't say it back. He takes the seat across Danny and gets involved in a conversation with Chin.

Danny plops down on the bench. "Do you know each other?" He asked dumfounded over to where Steve catches up with Kono, Chin, and Kawika. Kono gifts him with a stupid face and completely slack-jawed. 

"You're kidding, right, Danny?"

"No, I'm not. I – I haven't expected you to know each other is all."

"Kukui High, football, quarterback. Freaking Hawai'i, surfing. Brah, _of course_ , we know each other. We hung out together at the beach. We all grew up in Hawai'i. Steve's _ohana_. He's gone to save the world and now he's back. We all make sure he's fine, getting along with life and all, you know." Kono slaps his back. "Dude, you didn't know that?"

Danny wants to scream. He wants to go for a walk. "How the hell would I know that? I'm the new guy, remember? You have never even mentioned anything about knowing a Steve!" He cuts Grace's shrimps in small pieces to distract him from this unveiling. He can't look in Steve's direction when he sees Steve matching names and events together.

"Danny's your partner?" Steve asks Kono with so much disbelief in his voice it's comical. "He's the _haole_ you talked about?" Okay, that high-pitched voice is a bit unsexy.

After that Danny's memories are blurry.

He remembers a lot of laughter, especially Steve's low, rare carefree rumble. At one point, Kono punches Danny hard and makes faces at him. She points out how he hasn't checked his phone a single time since they've sat down. That got her thinking. She's about the figure out who he might have a secret crush on. Danny kicks her shin and pinches her thigh to shut her up. Kono gives him the stink-eye.

Danny stirs the attention immediately away from Kono with her razor-sharp mind. He calls over to Mary. He asks her if she could be a bit more specific about the details Steve has told her about him. Because that's what she said when they met at the hospital. Strangely enough, Steve chooses that moment to get seconds from Kame's hit of the day. The chatter dies as if well-orchestrated. All eyes are on Steve's sister.

"You have to know one thing, Danny. I talk Steve."

Danny forces himself not to cast a look over to where Steve chats with Kame. "That's a language?"

"Yeah, actually it is. And we all talk Steve. It's – it's a thing. When our mom died and when our dad got lost for some time someone needed to take care of Steve. We all did but I'm his sister. So, he doesn't say much and it's up to us to decipher what is hidden beneath the words he utters. We had a game going as teenagers. He never liked it when we did that. Steve doesn't do emotion; at least not the same way we handle them."

Danny eats. He's not hungry and he's not sure if his body is able to fight the tightness in his throat. He swallows and pretends his skin isn't on fire. "So, okay, what did Steve say that made you recognize me at the hospital?"

Mary's face morphs into a seriousness Danny wouldn't have thought possible. She looks as if she carries wisdom you only gain when of old age. She's calm when she answers his question. "Steve said just two words after a fruitless conversation to get more out of him. He said, _'he stayed'_ besides that, you're blond and asked all the right questions." 

Rachel is downstairs resting from the day's treatment. Stan prepares a simple dinner in the kitchen. Danny tucks Grace in. It has been an adventurous day and Grace is tired. Danny reads to her from her favorite book, but she almost falls asleep. He puts the book aside.

"Did you have a good day, Monkey?"

"Mm-hmm. It was fun. Steve is fun."

"Yeah, he is."

"I asked Kono to take me surfing. Steve surfs too. He said he could teach me, too."

"Grace, baby, we've talked about this. It's still too early. Next year, okay?"

Grace plays with the bed cover before she whispers. "Steve has dolphins and he said he makes me see them."

Danny sits up. He doesn't lose his smile on his face. "He has dolphins. Really? Where?"

"He said, at the beach, where he lives. Danno, dolphins! Can we go see them? I want to go. Steve said we can come anytime." Grace glows and looks so hopefully at him. He knows how much she loves dolphins. "We can go tomorrow. Please, Danno, please." She whines, too exhausted and too hyper about the fact that Steve got miraculously some dolphins somewhere at his house. 

"Let me talk to him, first, okay? And then we can go see them. But you might haven't heard it right, Monkey. Are you sure he said there are dolphins at the beach?"

Grace nods enthusiastically. "At the beach, Steve's beach. But we have to paddle out, to see them. He said he's going to show me. Can I go? Please, Danno." She begs.

Danny kisses her forehead and whispers in her ear, "of course, Monkey. We'll go visit Steve and he's going to show you the dolphins."

Back at home, Danny's finally alone with his thought. He can't stand that Steve told, promised even, his little girl dolphins. Real dolphins, the wild ones in the sea. No one promises a child something without keeping it. Danny doesn't know how he feels. Steve should have asked him. He should have consulted him. Danny can't stand the picture of his little girl far out on a paddleboard on the ocean. Not even a boat. Nothing, his girl has nothing lost on the ocean. Not yet, too dangerous. 

Danny types already the words to send Steve a text. He's agitated and paces the small space in his apartment. He's also angry. What was Steve thinking to make such a promise?

Danny deletes the written text. He grabs his keys from the kitchen table instead and storms outside. He peels off the parking lot and heads towards Steve's place in the jungle. He needs to ask him in person what the hell he was thinking. Who has freaking dolphins at the beach at home?

Danny's headlights lighten the dark street on the freeway. It's late. The first drop of rain hits the windshield when Danny makes the turn to drive up the dirt road to Steve's place.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	9. Metamorphosis Part III

Danny has not thought this through. He stormed out of the apartment with a single goal to clear the situation. He needs to know what Steve has told his little girl. He knows Steve wouldn't just promise such a big thing if he didn't mean to deliver his end of the bargain. Danny knows this like it's branded into his bones. Steve's a warm-hearted and sincere soul. Danny has watched him interact with Mary. God, this man has love to give and he _gives_.

However, Danny still hears Grace's pleading voice. The yearning behind the words to go and see dolphins at Steve's house tears into Danny's soul. What if this isn't something that's going to happen. What then? He wants nothing more than to make her wish come true. But it's out of his hands. He needs Steve to fulfill his baby girl's dream.

Danny's concentration gets pulled back on the road when the car bumps hard over stones or a rotten branch. Shit. It is night, and stupidly dark, and he drives like a love-drunken lunatic through fucking dense jungle to get to Steve. He's a bit ashamed of his intentions. There is no sense in lying to himself. He wants to see Steve again. As if he hasn't had a good chunk of the man's time during lunch. But the more Danny spends time with this mysterious guy the thirstier he gets. Danny drives up to Steve's secret garden under the pretext to talk to him about Grace. That's a big reason to skid over the pathetic road at night, caking his Camaro with mud but there's more to it. He can't fool himself. He wants more. So much more it scares him. And he knows Steve only for a little more than over a week. The intensity of the emotions racing through his veins makes his hands shake.

The tires work hard to get through the soaked soil on the dirt road. The jungle looks spooky with the darkness only lit by the bright cons of light. The rain drops constantly on the roof. Danny curses. He doesn't even know if Steve's up there. What if he spends the night at the beach house? God knows where that is. Danny grabs his cell. Fuck, no reception. He is one fine, stupid detective is what he is.

The shape of Steve's huge truck appears in the light beam. Danny throttles the engine and rolls gently onto the wide-open place that spreads out in front of Steve's 'flowers hop'. That word's a joke for what it hides in the backyard. It's the gate to a secret garden with layers as deep as the universe.

Danny pushes the car door close. "Steve?" He shouts into the night. The windows of the house are sparsely lit. Danny has no idea in what condition he might find Steve. Last time, he sneaked up on him with a drawn weapon. "STEVE? Yo, are you home? It's me, Danny!" He looks around but the darkness is too dense. He can't see a damn thing over in the scrubs a few feet from where he's standing. He stares right into a pitch-black hole. The clouded, rainy night swallows all the remaining light. The first rumble of thunder adds a dangerous and audacious touch to the atmosphere. It's a wild beauty and makes Danny think of Steve. Untamed and mysterious.

And jungle nights aren't silent and peaceful. In fact, it's loud with all the rustling, swooshing noises all around, quite apart from the fact that a bunch of wild animals seems to have a meeting somewhere close. The air is filled with insects despite the rain. Gah, the whirring and chirping isn't particularly reassuring either. _The things you do for love_. Danny scrubs with one hand over his face.

"Steve, are you home? Don't throw grenades, okay?" He knocks on the door. "It's Danny! I keep shouting my name until I'm sure you've noticed my presence." He starts pounding on the door. "Steve?"

Okay, again with the heartbeat racing. Danny feels like a teenager but there is also the rising worry if Steve's on the floor frozen in memories unable to snap out of it.

A new wave of distinct thunder rolls through the thick clouds and swallows most of the sound.

Danny presses down the door handle and the heavy wooden door clicks open. "Whoa, at least, I don't have to shoot the lock open." He murmurs to himself. "Steve! I'm coming in! It's me, Danny, the guy from lunchtime. Grace's father. STEVE?" He reaches the state where he keeps calling Steve's name ongoing.

The apartment is empty, meaning, Steve's not there but he must be around because there are hints, he's close. The back door is wide open. The couch is a pull-out bed. The sheets are rumpled, and several cushions lie on the floor. Danny turns his back on the portrayed privacy right in front of his eyes. The image of a sleeping Steve, a naked sleeping Steve, all mused hair and hoarse voice, is now burned on the inside of his eyelids. He suppresses a moan of want that threatens to escape over his lips. Sweet hell.

The small lamp on the floor next to the bed is lit. Soft music fills the air from a radio Danny can't see. He counts three coffee mugs staying around. And dirt. There's so much dirt on the floor. Like an inside dirt road leading out to the garden. The big old wooden table is scattered with empty crates. Some are filled with seedlings, some are empty. It's an organized chaos but still. "Steve? Hey, where are you? I'm coming out, stepping through the door to your garden in three seconds, okay?" Danny gets anxious. No word from Steve. Not a tiny speck of his clothes or his tattoos under golden skin. "Steve, I'm getting worried! If you do not show yourself in three seconds, I'll pull my gun and come searching for you!" Danny snaps the holster safety off and is about the reach for his gun when Steve bursts into the room.

"Danny! _Jesus Christ_! I hear you shouting for five minutes already. Didn't you hear me answering? I even screamed your name!" Steve's eyes are comically wide, and he talks so fast Danny wants to laugh. But he can't. What happened to Steve? How can someone look like this?

The thunder moves closer and the dull, heavy rumble vibrates in Danny's chest. "Why do you wear a headlight?" He shouts over to where Steve stands holding on to a create. Danny shields his eyes with a hand. "I can't see shit, Steve, take the light out of my face." Steve is caked from head to toe, caked with mud and wet. Danny stares. "What happened to you? This time you cannot make me believe you haven't been crawling through the jungle, or through your garden." He blurts. "Who looks like that? You covered in mud like you had fun rolling around in it. Don't tell me you miss the freaking insane training you had in BUD/S. I read about that Hellweek stuff. How do they call the mud wrestling exercises? Mudflats? Did you need a bonding moment with dirt?"

Steve hauls the create onto the large worktop next to the back door. "What are you talking about? Mudflats? What – I, no. Nothing like that." He switches off the headlight. "It's nice to see you, too, Danny." Steve smiles over to him. "And sorry to disappoint you again. No crawling through dark jungle patches, just taking care of my seedlings."

Danny nods and escapes into banter. Banter means shallow and safe water. Because this wild, dauntless man who looks like he took a mud-bath makes Danny want to fuck him six ways from Sunday. "Yeah, nice to see you too, Steve. I didn't hear you shouting my name." He clips the holster safety close and leans against the nearest furniture. "What's with the mud, huh? Are all people who do garden work that dirty?" Danny waves his hand and takes Steve's appearance in. His stomach swoops and smoldering lust crawls south and starts to fill his cock.

Steve chuckles. "Why do you even bother how I look like? I'm passionate, is all. I love to feel the soil in my hands. I have to get my seedlings into the ground." Steve can't stop smiling. 

"You have to get your flowers into the ground – at night with a headlight – when a big ass thunderstorm rolls in. What happened to gardening by day?" Danny makes wide eyes at Steve and carefully lets the tension turn into a mad swarm of butterflies behind his belly button.

"Hmm?"

"You heard me the first time."

Steve mimics Danny's posture and crosses the arms over his massive chest. Danny pushes every decent thought in the back of his mind. He gets harder with every second he watches Steve's dirt-covered skin. The guy wears a tank top and the same old, threadbare jeans. His feet are black from standing in the mud.

"I had stuff to do. Places to be. Haven't planned to be back that late. That's the boring explanation for the night work. No extraordinary SEAL explanation except that I like to use the rain to water the seedlings once they're in the ground. Because once out in the open the young plants must be covered with water and mud profusely to protect the gentle baby-roots, so they can grow. Rain is easier, saves time."

Danny is mildly impressed. "And you've learned all that from your mother?"

"Yes, that and much more. I grow vegetables too. And I cook."

"Do you want me to throw confetti?"

Steve's laugh is infectious. "You don't look so happy about the thunder, Danny."

Danny tries not to twitch but the roaring thunder creeps closer. "I don't like the lightning that comes with the thunder and mostly there's driving rain in the middle of the storm. I don't like that either."

Steve pushes his butt off the table and reaches for the last crate. He studies Danny over his shoulder, _his dirt-covered muscular shoulder where ink peeks through_. How can unwashed skin be so damn sexy? "You won't be struck by lightning if that's what worries you. Too many trees, Danny. But the fact that you are here and the fact that there is a thunderstorm gathering tells me you need something from me. So, uhm did you miss me, Danny? Is that the reason you drop by that late? Or what can I do for you?" 

Danny performs a helpless motion with one hand. _Grace! Dolphins!_ Wow. Did he forget about why he came here in the first place? No. he did not, did he? Steve's like a freaking black hole. He sucks Danny's entire attention right up on the spot. "Well, I came for a special reason but that can wait. The talk can wait. And what if I missed you?"

It takes a split second for Steve to shut Danny out. It's like a blind gets pulled down behind his eyes. Danny watches the not-visible emotions race over Steve's face. He might be a master in hiding feelings but some seep through. Danny can't see them but he senses them with every fiber of his body. It's like his body hair has turned into an insane hyper-sensitive seismograph. 

"You wanna get dirty?" Steve lifts the create and walks closer.

"What are you even asking?" Danny can't balance fast enough. The hard, hot image of Steve's large, rough hand wrapped around his cock knocks the wind right out of him.

"Are you afraid of the dark, Danny? Ready for some funky gardening? Guerilla gardening might be the right word for that. Hmm? Up for that?" Steve's voice is black velvet on Danny's skin.

There's so much hidden meaning behind the questions Steve's asking. Danny is overwhelmed. The sudden heat that blazes behind his chest and between his legs makes it hard to focus. Why can nothing happen in a moderate pace with this guy? Danny pretends to be dense as concrete. If the dull fire in Steve's eyes is a harbinger of what lies beneath Danny will burn with a wild cry on his lips. _Holy shit_.

Steve challenges Danny. And Goddamnit, challenge's fucking accepted. Danny steps forward and holds Steve's heavy gaze. "You think I'm a damn pussy."

"I might," dark voiced words setting Danny on fire.

"You think I'm a freaking putz because I don't like thunderstorms." Danny tugs the shirt up and rushes through the buttons to pop them open.

Steve leans in with the create pressed to his abs. "What the fuck are you doing, D?"

"That's my best shirt. I don't need to roll around in the dirt with my best shirt on." He tosses the crumpled piece of fabric over to Steve's bed. He doesn't miss. Claim announced.

"Are you fucking with me here, Detective Williams?" Steve growls with his head turned to where Danny's shirt has landed on his bed.

"Does it look like I'm that kind of guy?"

Steve breathes heavily with parted lips. "Nope." 

Danny's hard on pulses in his briefs. "Good." He unclips his service weapon and his badge and puts both on the chair next to him. "Got a second headlight, big guy?" His nipples pucker instantly with the way Steve's eyes touch his skin. He toes his shoes off and bends down to pull his socks off, too. He wiggles his toes. He stands the sensual pain with what Steve's eyes carve into his chest.

"Right behind you," Steve's breath fans over his skin. He's so close. "Your pants will get wet and dirty."

Danny unbuckles his belt and pulls it through the straps with a sharp move. The belt buckle clatters when he lets it drop on the floor. "I'm not putting your baby plants in the ground stark naked."

Steve's crooked smile is lewd. "Let's head out then."

Steve gets rid of his tank top outside. The heavy rain pelts down on their bare backs. Danny's pants are soaked in seconds. The wet fabric clings to his thighs. The wet, rain-soaked soil is downright luscious. It's soft and kneeling in it, digging the toes into it fills Danny with a light joy. The rain is cold, but his skin is hot and fiery. It's the craziest thing he has ever done. "When have you become so wild?" He shouts and laughs.

"I don't know what that even means." Steve answers with a lightness to his voice that makes Danny want to lean over to taste the rain on his shoulder.

Steve takes Danny's hands in his and shows him how to drill a small hole with a digit. "Do it like that," he doesn't let go, "you make the holes and I put the seedlings in." Steve's full voice drowns out the thunder easily. 

Danny watches their mud-covered hands how they work side by side lit by the small beam of light attached to their foreheads. Danny loses the feeling for time. A thing that seems to happen when he's in Steve's garden. They become a part of nature with the wind tearing at their wet hair and the constant flickering of lightning followed by a sound as if heaven cracks open. The storm is right above them. Steve's body position is relaxed, his movements are floating and beautiful, skilled, and calming. "Okay, that's it." 

"Already?"

"Yeah, already." Steve is suddenly in his personal space. He switches off the lamp first before he pulls Danny's headlight off his head.

The darkness isn't so dark. The flickering light of the sky reveals the hunger on Steve's face. Everything fades away. Nothing matters but Steve, kneeling in the dirt, with the rain streaming down his ripped, muscular chest. Danny's eyes dart over to watch how Steve shuffles closer. His knees bump into Danny's. Danny catches Steve's ardent look and the slow move of his arm. Danny groans and leans into the rough grip when Steve wraps his dirt-covered hand around his neck.

Danny cups Steve's face and waits with a racing heart. Steve presses his lips to Danny's for a searing kiss. It's wet and slick, loaded with desire and want. Steve tastes of rain and hope. He pushes his tongue hard into Danny's mouth. Danny groans like he has waited a lifetime for this to happen. He holds Steve's head with both hands, fingers spread wide, and falls backward. He pulls Steve on top of him. Danny opens his lips to get as much of Steve's eager tongue into his mouth as possible. He drinks rain from Steve's lips. The guttural moans Steve pours into his mouth go straight to his straining cock.

Steve's weight presses him down. The wet soil is a strange sensation on his bare skin. The little stones sting, and leaves, and tiny twigs scratch. Danny wants more. The wet fabric of his pants hinders him to spread his legs, but Steve's big hands grab his knees and press them apart. The tear of material only makes Danny want to bite Steve. It makes him wild.

"Wrap your legs around me," Steve says between kisses.

Danny can't hear with the ongoing wind and the rain still pouring down on them. He smears mud over Steve's chest and bucks up into Steve's crotch. Danny's head falls back when his hard on rubs against Steve's bulge. " _Oh, fuck_."

Steve shuts him up with wild, biting kisses. He licks and sucks at Danny's lips and simultaneously pushes Danny deeper into the dirt. Steve rocks his hips and grinds down on Danny's hard cock. He shows him what he wants. Danny clings to him, hooks his legs up his hip, and crosses his ankles behind his back. He grunts into Steve's open mouth when he gets lifted from the ground into Steve's lap. This crazy guy hauls him up to walk with him over to the lanai. Danny bites along Steve's jawline and tightens the grip of his legs around Steve's waist. He grabs at Steve's pecs, runs his hands over broad shoulders and fans all his fingers through dark, wet hair.

Danny doesn't feel the jet of the shower. It's the same temperature as the rain. Steve washes the dirt from his hair with gentle moves. The water washes away the mud on their skin. Danny peels his pants off and steps out of them. He watches Steve do the same. He wraps his fingers around Steve's hard member and sucks one of Steve's nipples between his lips. He gasps into another round of blinding hot kisses. Without another word Steve yanks him back up. Arms as strong as steel are wrapped around Danny's waist. Steve seals his lips with his and carries him inside.

Steve throws Danny onto the pull-out bed and crawls over to box him in. He towers over him on all four. Steve's cock is a heavy weight between his legs. His gaze is like a whole new universe. And Danny drowns.

"Make me come, babe," Danny whispers.

Steve's bruising kiss is most welcome.

The back door is still wide open.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and for supporting me with your amazing comments! You rock guys! I try hard to finish this before end of August! Let's keep it up!


	10. Cooking

Danny hears birds chirping. The sound gets interrupted by some strange screeching from a much larger creature he doesn't know at all because he has never camped out in the jungle. He's surrounded by a green sea and the reason why he's out in the wild is Steve. And momentarily, he's lying in Steve's pull-out bed. Naked and alone.

Danny takes stock. The blanket covers half his face and tickles his nose. He's curled up in a comfy sleeping position. He knows from the outside there is nothing to see but a lump under a sheet and a mop of blond hair peeking out at the top. That's him still in bed, barely awake. He doesn't move, doesn't show that he hears what's going on in the small open room that combines kitchen and sleeping space.

And there's wind.

Danny listens to the softness that is moved air and the way it rustles in the treetops. He almost feels the air move gently over his warm skin. And he's aware of the amount of sand between the sheets. And that brings all the wild memories of their breathtaking and strangely intense lovemaking to the forefront of his mind. He notices the steady thud of his pulse in his ears. Even with all the sound filling the air, a magical calmness rests on top of all.

He breathes and sustains the way his body temperature rises. He's alone in bed. Cracks tear slowly through the powerful mood from last night, the assurance that Steve and he have taken the next step. That's how Danny sees it. Even if they didn't talk at all. Their kisses and how they fisted the other's hair and swallowed each other's breath when they came was proof enough that the tide has changed. Danny clings to Mary's confirmation that Steve deals with emotions so differently than the rest of them.

Danny listens to the clatter of someone cooking. Steve. The air is saturated with the most delicious coffee scent.

More memories of last night rush in in a flash. The way Steve murmured his name like a prayer. And how he watched him come, hold his gaze in the same way he carried him inside, with a steely grip – not letting go, not allowing Danny to blink, to look away. And Steve let him see, too. He showed him how he felt. God, it was so much more than sex. They have bonded over fucking into each other's fist.

More heat lets him break in a sweat. He rolls over to lie on his back. Danny listens to the noise from the kitchenette. It's not good. The sound carpet isn't smooth and in sync with a happy, content mood. The sound is tempered. And Steve is already up. That's not a good start either. Steve hasn't woken him; hasn't said he's getting up. Danny has expected at least a word, a soft kiss. After last night? Yeah, a gentle press of lips is what he has wanted and has wished for. 

The clatter quiets down for a bit. Danny can still handle the pressure of the increasing sorrows which makes him fist the sheets. He holds his breath. He tries to analyze the rhythm of how dishes are moved, cupboards get opened and closed. Occasional odd bumps and a spoon slipping from fingers into the sink make Danny twitch. What the fuck is wrong?

No morning snuggling, no morning sex.

Steve just got up before Danny has been awake. He snuck out from under the sheets. What does this mean? It means something. It always does. They had unfamiliar emotional sex. Danny wanted to say that he loved Steve; wanted to groan the three magic words into his mouth when he arched into Steve's arms before his balls got painfully drawn up and the dizzying wave of his climax knocked him almost unconscious. And Steve watched him as he has never seen anything more beautiful. And Danny felt like crying and that has never ever happened before either. 

He remembers how Steve fell asleep on top of him, totally exhausted. Danny was the one to wipe off the cum and the sweat. His heart ached when he watched the guarded look on Steve's face he did not even lose in his sleep. He covered Steve with a blanket and pulled him into his arms. Steve was comatose, knocked-out completely. Danny was worried he might have bad dreams but the only thing he remembers is sweet nothingness and one of the best nights of sleep he has had in a long time.

Maybe Steve had bad dreams and he was so beat that he just slept right through Steve's struggle.

Why did Steve get up without waking him? Danny pretends to be still under and listens. The clatter has no melody. The longer Danny waits the more jacked up it gets. There's a nervousness to it and the soft, constant floating movement Steve normally has with plants doesn't come through at all. It gets chopped, inharmonic even and it's interrupted by total silence as if Steve is lost in thoughts.

Danny knows what this means. Of course, he does. He thinks of nothing else but last night and how this changes everything. Steve must be all worked up about what has happened between them. Maybe he's worried about how to go on. Steve's a guy of honor and devotion. He has made a statement last night. Danny knows that. But Steve doesn't know that Danny knows this and that he's the same kind of a statement-making guy. Having sex like that is not sex anymore, it is already making love with a commitment. Danny doesn't fuck around for kicks. He never has and he never will. 

They didn't talk, not really, no actual words that would end in full sentences. They weren't capable of doing that. There was nothing but passionately grunted 'fucks', 'keep goings', 'harders'. Lots of groans and moans and the profound tongue-licking. God, Steve can lick and suck. Danny shivers. His cock twitches and tents the bedsheet. Last night, their brains were bloodless with their balls heavy and their hands everywhere. 

When the clatter stops entirely Danny's alarm bells push him out of bed. He throws the blanket off and gets up. He doesn't care how he looks. His hair sticks out in all directions. He blinks and rubs the sleep from his eyes and pads over to where Steve is busy doing morning chores.

Steve stands with his back to Danny. The room is small. Danny knows Steve has heard him getting up. Danny's naked and it feels good, natural even. His clothes are soaked with mud lying around somewhere in the garden. And he forgets he has a shirt he could put on. Steve has put on some boxers. It's not the time now to worry about such banalities. 

Steve's breathing is off, and he has this hard line in his shoulders again where the tension shows. Danny steps up behind him and wraps both arms around his waist. He presses his still bed-warm body into Steve's back. "Good morning, babe," he kisses the patch of skin in front of his face. He rubs his scratchy cheek over Steve's bare skin. He holds his breath and waits for Steve's reaction.

A large hand moves over to cover Danny's forearm. Steve's tight grip is alarmingly painful as if he wanted Danny to keep from leaving. Steve hangs his head. Danny senses the stuttering breath he takes. "Good morning," he answers like a question.

"You're cooking breakfast?" Danny's fingertips trace Steve's fast-beating heart beneath the skin under the soft arch of his impressive pecs.

"Yeah, I thought you might be hungry." Steve strangles the rag he holds in the other hand. He's agitated and tries to play it down. 

"And you're not?"

Steve's smile pierces through his words. "I sure as hell am."

"Got some spare boxers for me?"

"Yeah, somewhere in the wooden chest there on the wall." 

The fact that Steve doesn't even mention Danny's hard on pressed between Steve's ass cheeks makes him hurry. Steve's too wound up in an invisible world with a worst-case scenario concerning Danny. He is tied up in emotions he can't express with words. And they mess with his mental state. Danny wants to understand, and he still needs to talk about Grace and the dolphins.

They eat in silence at first. Scrambled eggs, toasted bread, and watermelon. Steve has his elbows propped up and nips at his huge mug. "You said last night you wanted to talk about something." He lowers his coffee.

Danny puts down his fork. "Yeah, right," Mary's words float back into his mind. Danny must be patient this cannot go sideways. He has no idea how Steve will react once he starts talking about his baby girl and the mammals. Danny leans back and fumbles with the knife. "I had a talk with Grace last night. I tucked her in. I went back to Stan's and Rachel's to make sure they are okay. Grace loves to tell me about the stuff that made her happy during the day." Danny clears his throat and watches Steve. He listens and wears a blank expression as if he waits for a punishment.

Danny can't stand it. He leans forward and reaches with his arm halfway over the tabletop. His hand is turned upside, his palm is open, his fingers relaxed. An invitation for Steve to take it. Danny stays quiet and waits patiently. With a sharp exhale and the inner decision to jump Steve grabs Danny's hand and circles his fingers around his wrist. Danny latches his hand around Steve's forearm like a lock and holds on tight.

"Steve, it's okay. I just need to ask you something. Don't wait for the beating. There's none, okay?" Danny speaks gently.

"Okay," Steve loosens his grip a bit but Danny won't have any of it. He keeps on holding on tight.

"You, uh, gave Grace a promise. I just want to check with you if you can keep it. You told her to show her dolphins at your beach. She dreams about going to see your dolphins. Can you keep it, Steve? The promise?" Danny lifts his eyes and stops fumbling with the knife. He's nervous too.

Steve casts his gaze and shoves the food around on his plate. "Do you think I promise your little girl something I can't keep?" He seems deeply offended. He wants to pull his hand back.

Danny doesn't let him do that. "It was intense, yesterday with Mary's pregnancy. With me and Grace and meeting your friends, who turn out to be my teammates. I didn't get the part of the conversation where you said you'd show Grace the dolphins at the beach where you live. I don't even know where this is." Danny sighs. "You should have informed me first before you go and say stuff like that to Grace. She's only six, Steve. Her world is different. To her, everything is real, and all dreams always come true. Do you get that?"

Steve puts the fork down. There's a beat of silence. "I get it, Danny." He shuffles and pushes his chair back, but Danny's grip tightens around Steve's forearm. "I bought a paddling pool and a life vest for Grace. The ocean is so big and she's so small." Steve's voice is thick. He tries hard to sound normal.

"I don't understand, Steve. Why the pool? And the life vest? Do You want to take her out on the ocean?" Danny inches forward. He's not sure what Steve tries to say.

Steve shakes his head. "No, man, the ocean is too dangerous for her. Too big and too wild for a little girl." He stops and Danny sees the hard beating of his pulse in the vein curving up the throat. "I told her we have to wait. We have to ask Danno. The dolphins won't appear before the big tide changes. A few more weeks but then she will see them, swimming in big schools. She can watch from the shore, totally safe and in no danger at all."

"That – that sounds great, Steve." Danny scoots closer. "I'm sorry, I assumed you would want to take her out on a surfboard, six miles from the shore." He laughs shakily. The love for this incredible man burns like wildfire through his body.

Steve adds in a hurry. "I also bout some stuff to build a sandcastle. And, uhm, and a sunshade. Sun blocker, too, stuff for a beach day, if –" his voice dies in the middle of the sentence.

Danny's heart is about to burst into a million pieces. Steve starts to crawl back into his shell. He has admitted what Danny and Grace mean to him and Danny hasn't answered to that. Steve's too unsure to stand the silence. He wants to get up.

Danny pulls him gently back by holding on. He slips his hand in Steve's and laces their fingers together. He fights with the moisture in his eyes. "You did all that, huh? You plan a beach day at your house for Grace and me. God, you're killing me, Steve."

Steve doesn't eat, doesn't move. "Only if you want." He murmurs.

"When did you plan to tell me? I mean you have to invite us." 

"I'm telling you now." Steve hugs Danny's hand hard.

"I love the idea and I know Grace will be bouncing with joy to be with you." Danny waits but Steve tries not to combust with nervousness and stabs holes with the fork in a watermelon piece. "Did you buy a can of color for her room, too?" Danny chuckles. It's meant as a joke.

"Turquoise," Steve says as if it's the most normal thing to say. But the tightness in his upper body tells a different story. He's dangerously close to tear his hand away from Danny's grip to dash out the back door. Steve's hand trembles slightly in Danny's embrace. "Grace said she likes the colors of the ocean. I bought turquoise and different shades of blue so she can choose."

Danny's sucks in a harsh breath. "Steve," 

But Steve freezes and wants to pull his hand out from Danny's grip. "Let me go, Danny," he demands.

"Don't. Steve, please, don't do that. Give me your hand. I need five seconds to let your answer sink in."

"It's too much, is it? I went overboard. I scared you off. I'm sorry," Steve has Danny's hand in a choke-hold, cutting off the bloodstream. He's falling fast and hard in the wrong direction. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know what's right or wrong. I thought," Steve swallows dry and runs his hand through his hair. He leans on his elbow and hugs his neck with one hand to hide his face from Danny. "I thought I prepare a room for Grace at my house, so she has a place to sleep if you want to stay over. If you want to drop by, spend time with me, be with me." Steve breathes, "I'm sorry if I shocked you. I'm moving too fast. I thought – I just."

Danny tugs at their hands and makes Steve look at him. He wipes at his eyes, "Steve, look at me," Steve's pained gaze melts into something else. Danny knows he has red, watery eyes but the world is not ready for guys like Steve who have a heart as big as the whole damn world and so much love to give it's downright overwhelming. "I fucking love you, Steve. Don't you get that?"

Steve doesn't answer, doesn't say it back but he swallows hard, bites his lips.

"Grace loves turquoise. She's going to love her room and everything you have planned for her. I can't believe I found you. I don't know what to say." Danny almost chokes on the love. This feeling when beauty is too much to sustain. He grabs Steve's hand so tight the knuckles turn white. Danny's not ashamed of the tears he wipes off with the back of his hand. "Eat up babe. I wanna take you back to bed."

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story and for your great support. Your amazing and great feedback carry me through this process. I appreciate each and every one of you. Mahalo for your fantastic support and for having my back. You rock my world, guys! Love you all!


	11. Family - Part I

Danny still feels the rush of nervousness when Steve has made it clear he wanted to spend time with him and Grace at the beach, at home where he grew up. This is big. This implies family and a future. Danny wants it. He wants everything. He wants to have days and years ahead of them. This day symbolizes a milestone. And… and they are only going steady for a week, _a week_. What a stupid expression but seriously, they're only together for seven freaking days! Good Gracious, but to Danny, it feels as if they'd picked up where they have left off in another life. It must be something like that. Steve shared Kamekona's insanely ridiculous comment after a hot night. In the darkness, sweaty, their legs entangled and with a soft press of Steve's lips to his chest, Danny learned that Kawika and Kame think Steve and he are soulmates.

Danny's heartbeat tells him he believes in this weird spiritual crap. The way Steve and he go at it just tells that the guys are right about it. This isn't normal. It's not normal how he misses Steve when he's at work. It grazes madness the way he breaks every traffic rule just to get as fast as possible to his man. Gosh, Danny feels like he's sixteen again and so madly in love.

Steve always waits for him at the flower shop no matter the time. When Danny walks through the door Steve greets him by pressing him up against the nearest wall before he kicks the door shut. Danny drowns in Steve's gasps and whispered words. They make love and they fuck on every surface available. They eat in between, feed each other only to end up in bed exhausted, satisfied, and with new bruises and scratches from the various pieces of furniture in Steve's jungle house. 

But today is the kind of special that adds a new depth to what they already have.

Today is beach day. Steve has waited for this day from the moment he has told Danny about the color turquoise he plans to paint the walls in Grace's room. The room he plans to put up at his house. All week-long, Steve has been out here to get everything ready for Grace. He has kept everything a big secret. Danny is still overwhelmed by Steve's devotion and the sheer force he makes things happen.

Danny still can't believe how fast everything turns into this let's-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together thing. He's not scared. Maybe he should be scared because they've skipped having any date at all only to jump right at fucking each other's brains out to steer toward having a family day at Steve's parent's house where he lives. That's… intense especially for Danny but he's not worried. No, in fact, he's as calm as a sleeping whale. He and Steve click like nothing he has ever experienced. And he loves this guy with almost an angry seriousness and _that_ scares him sometimes. Because at this point, Danny knows there will never ever be anyone else but Steve.

And Danny has brought Grace to the game like from 'zero hour' and that's something he has never done with any of his former dates. Never. As if he had a choice. Jesus. He ran into Steve at the hospital. In a blink of an eye, Steve and his little girl have bonded over doing a game on the seesaw on a children's playground. And Grace has turned into that center from where Steve's world has started to grow into a completely new dimension. Danny isn't a nervous wreck over the possibility his baby girl could get hurt over them breaking up. Danny knows hell is going to freeze over before he and Steve won't make this relationship work. Because that's what this is. They don't name that huge intimate thing that grows every day into so much more. It just is and they know it. Danny would freaking marry this wild beast of a wonderful man on the spot if he asked him. So, yes, his mental health floats in a sphere he hasn't known existed.

"Do you have everything you need?" Danny calls from the kitchen. He washes salad in the sink, standing in Steve's kitchen, and picks the limp leaves to heap them up on the countertop. He dries his hands on a dish towel he has thrown over his shoulder.

Grace runs into the kitchen right up to him. She wraps her arms around his legs. "Steve has bought everything, Danno." She tells him excitedly. "He has sand shovels, a pink sand sifter, a blue pail, a green one, and a red pail for the water. And – and a lot of plastic forms. Big ones and small ones and there is a dolphin and a mermaid and fish." She bends her head back and looks up at Danny. Her face is in awe.  


Danny lifts her up to have a father-daughter talk. "He showed me. I guess Steve has bought the best pieces to build the greatest sandcastle of Hawaii just for you. He wants you to have fun. You okay with that, Monkey? To be outside with Steve at the beach?"

"Uh-huh," Grace's head wobbles with eyes big and joyful. 

"I stay in the kitchen for a bit and prepare lunch, okay?" Danny knows Grace is going to be fine but he's not so sure he's ready for this challenge. He wants to be though. The vastness of the ocean scares him and all the horror movies with giant sharks roll through is mind. "You call me if you need something or you'll tell Steve, okay? He's taking good care of you."

"Yes," she answers and writhes like a snake in his arms. "I wanna go outside, Danno."

"Where's Steve?" He knows how important it is for Steve to dig around in the sand with Grace, to hear her laugh, and to see her joy. He knows that but still, it's Grace and there are tons of seawater rolling in steadily a few feet from where they want to build the sandcastle.

"He says he wants to get the towels." She runs out of the kitchen but comes right back. "Steve said he bought a turtle for me." Grace shouts breathlessly. 

Danny smiles with eyes as big as saucers. "He bought a turtle for you? A living animal?"

Grace giggles and storms back into the kitchen. "No! Danno! A sun umbrella that looks like a turtle!" She's out of breath and leans against the chair.

Danny can't really grasp all the small events that have turned their lives upside down. During the last week, he hasn't slept one night at his apartment. And he spends all his spare time with Steve. It's been a whirlwind of emotional and colorful days.

"Danno!" Grace calls over to him. "I said Steve has a turtle umbrella for me."

Danny snaps out of his reverie. "Sorry Monkey, I got lost in thoughts." He strokes her hair, "a turtle umbrella! Wow! That sounds awesome. Why don't you show me?"

"Okay," Grace plucks at her bathing suit with the flower print. "I'm hungry."

"Do you like a sandwich? Ham and cheese with tomatoes? Yeah?" Danny cuts one of the prepared Jersey sandwiches in half. He hands her the plate. "Here Monkey, one is for Steve. Lunch is ready in an hour. You gonna start with – with what? Digging holes?"

"Come, I'll show you," Grace takes the plate and walks out the door. "Steve said we'll make a big castle and we dig a deep ditch so the water can stream right in. He said the waves will fill the ditch and it's fun to watch." 

Danny's heart overflows with happiness seeing his little girl so excited about something. He worries way too much. They'll be fine having a wonderful beach day without him playing watchdog. "Where's your hat, Gracie? And what about your fancy sunglasses? Don't you want to put them on?" Danny follows her into the living room where he has put their luggage.

"Have you found your glasses?" Danny steps up to where his daughter kneels on the floor. He crouches down beside her. 

She goes through the sports bag Danny has packed to bring to Steve's house. It's a big house with big rooms but it looks strangely empty and abandoned in some way. Steve spends more time at the flower shop than at his parent's house that is his real home. Mary and Kawika live right next door. Danny thinks it's beautiful to have a sister living so close by, her backyard only a few minutes down the beach. Steve could drop by any minute to have a chat, have breakfast together. 

"Got it!" Grace shouts and shoves the pink flowery shades over her nose.

"You look like a beach lady with big plans." Danny takes the plate with the sandwich. "Come, let's go and see what's Steve up to all alone at the beach."

Grace dashes out the door before Danny can ask about the sunblock and the extra shirt.

Steve puts up the second sunshade right next to the turtle one. "Hey, Danno, shall I cream Gracie with sun cream?"

"I don't want it." Grace says, already busy with the buckets. "It's sticky and makes all the sand stay on my arms and knees." She whines a little and picks up the little shovel. 

"It's hot out here, Grace. You have tender skin. We can't leave it unprotected." Steve explains with a gentle voice. "Let Danno decide what's best for you, okay? I'll put on some cream too if this makes you feel better?" Steve suggests and bites heartily into a juicy half of Danny's favorite Jersey sandwiches. "Ah, it tastes awesome." He keeps a distance and just gifts him with a smile.

Danny knows Steve's insecure how much affections he's allowed to share in front of Grace. "I take pride in prepping the most authentic New Jersey sandwiches. You're welcome." He winks and makes sure to hold Steve's gaze. "Grace, come do me a favor and put on this shirt. We can't have you catch a sunburn. That hurts and it's not good for your skin. And your mommy wouldn't be pleased with me."

Grace is digging, too busy to even reply. She stretches her arms over her head and let Danny put on the white, light shirt. "That's better, Monkey."

Steve also pulls a shirt over his head. "Look, Grace, partner look. See? I wear a shirt too. It's simple, effective sun protection." He darts another smile over at Danny. "You okay with me and Grace out here, Danny?" He drops to his knees next to Grace where she's busy digging holes and filling the plastic forms.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry." Danny bends down and adjusts Grace's hat. He kisses the top of her head and leans over to press a soft kiss to Steve's head, too. Grace doesn't even notice. Steve's warm hand caresses Danny's calf. "I'll be inside and prepare lunch. You'll shout if you need anything." Danny points a finger at Steve. "You take care of my little girl and don't let her be in the sun too long. Take breaks and come visit me some time so I know you haven't been washed out with the surf to God knows where."

Steve gifts him with an epic eye-roll. "Danny, I'm a SEAL and I spent my childhood at this beach. It's Hawaii and I know the rhythm of the tides like the back of my hand."

Danny wiggles with his index finger. "SEAL or no SEAL, you show up at the kitchen after an hour." He juts his chin in Steve's direction. "Is this understood?"

"Sure," Steve answers with a forced chuckle. "Your wish is my command."

"Hey," Danny makes Steve look at him, "I trust you." He emphasizes again.

Danny knows Steve's overeager to get it right for Grace and him. Danny's not as relaxed as he wished to be but he chooses a lighthearted voice to show Steve he's okay with him looking after his daughter. "Good. Have fun then." Danny turns and is about to walk back to the house. He taps the beaten wooden chair lightly and calls over his shoulder. "Steve, don't go swimming without the life vest on. Please?" He can't help it.

Steve gives him the thumbs up but the next second he's deepened in a serious conversation with Grace. They've got big plans. Danny walks back to the house with a warmer feeling in his stomach. This is better. It's going to be alright.

The _flap flap flap_ sound reaches Danny's inattentive ear halfway into cooking his mother's famous tomato sauce. The lasagna sheets and the béchamel sauce are ready. Steve's kitchen smells like an Italian restaurant. He nibs at a spoon full of sauce to check what misses. He tries hard to keep the attention directed to cooking. His gut tells him to go check up on what's going on at the beach. But he stays inside and squashes the itch to act like an overprotective father. Steve's going to do great by being the adult looking after Grace.

_Flap flap flap_.

Cheese. He has forgotten to take the _Parmigiano Reggiano_ out of the fridge. That's the best cheese to grate on top of the dish once all layers are filled in. Danny talks in his head to distract himself. Some odd worry spreads into his stomach and he can't figure out why. He shuts his eyes and counts to ten before he rinses a spoon and a knife under the running water. 

The sound of the helicopter seems to spread wide into the sky, and it's getting closer and louder. Danny lifts his head to look out of the window. He sees a banner with the lettering 'newly married John and Amanda' and a big red heart. Danny watches a moment, seeing how the small airplane crosses the sky followed by one helicopter. No, two. Gosh, three helicopters approach through the sky. Some rich dude makes his kid's wedding a day to remember. Why do they need to fly over this part of the beach? The pilot makes sure the guests get what they've paid for. They fly so close by Danny can read the logo on the birds. Freaking idiots. 

Danny's heart jumps to his throat and the cutlery clatters when he drops it in the sink. Helicopters and loud whirring rotor blades. Not good! Steve! Shit, is this…? Danny spins around and rushes through a safety check to make sure nothing's going to burn or boil over before he dashes out of the kitchen. He's not half-way through the living room when he hears Grace's scared and high-pitched voice, filled with dread, shouting his name. 

"Danno! Daddy!"

Grace doesn't ever, ever call him daddy unless she's terrified. 

"Grace! _Gracie_! I'm here! I'm coming!" Danny yells. Spiking Fear gives him an instant headache. He tastes blood in his mouth his heart beats so hard and fast. Danny yanks the door the lanai open. "GRACE!"

Danny bolts forward. He sees his daughter's face in tears; eyes wide with fear. She throws herself into his arms. Danny catches her and carries her immediately inside. He needs to check on her first, to make sure, she's unharmed. "Grace-baby, it's fine. Danno's here. Are you hurt? God, what's up, Monkey?" He carries her trembling little body over to the couch and keeps her pressed to his chest. He whispers soothing words and strokes her back to calm her. She doesn't seem hurt. "Are you hurt, baby?" He tries again.

Grace tucks her face into his throat and shakes her head. She's hot and sweaty and pants from running so fast.

Danny holds her in his arms until her sobs calm down. Only then he realizes what she's wearing. A life vest and big towel is thrown over her shoulders like a cape. Two floatation aids are pulled over each of her upper arms. She still wears the hat but her sunglasses are gone. Danny undoes the knot of the towel. His hands shake terribly. He's legs are numb from the shock that something might have happened to his little girl. He still hears the fucking helicopters in the sky. The sound seems deafeningly loud. He feels his heartbeat in his tongue. "Monkey, hey, sweetheart," he kisses her tear-stained cheek. "Baby, where… where's Steve?" He whispers against her hair with his nerves strung tight. 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, guys!  
> I'll try to update as fast as possible. I've planned two more chapters but maybe it's going to be also three. We'll see. With a WIP it's not nice when RL stomps on the brakes. So, thanks a lot for your patience and all the love you have for this story. This always means so much.


	12. Family - Part II

Danny repeats his question with the same tender voice. Grace still seems awfully spooked. "Monkey, where's Steve? Did he run off?" Danny pats carefully over Grace's arms and legs. He squeezes with intent, gently but purposefully to make sure she's not hurt with broken bones or nasty bruises. "Sweetheart?" Grace clings to him as if she has seen a sea monster snapping with its foul fangs at her. Jesus, what the hell happened out there?

He can't rush this. He can't make her speak faster and under no circumstances he wants to pressure her. He can't run outside either to go looking for Steve. His soul is split in half but his daughter comes first. Steve's a SEAL and he's confident Steve knows how to deal with such immense stress. God, he hopes Steve's not doing something stupid like to hurt himself. Oh shit, what if he jumped in the surf to outswim the noise and the panic? Ah, fuck! Danny breathes in a pattern to fake calmness. His baby girl is still trembling.

"Did Steve hurt you?" Danny's heart stops but he has to… _he has to ask this_. He still can't grasp how deep Steve's PTSD goes; how severe it is. They haven't talked about that sensitive topic. And three damn choppers could have freaked him completely. As a responsible father, he must make sure Steve didn't hurt Grace even if he acted with good intentions. "Look, Grace, Steve's very afraid of helicopters. He might have broken out in panic. I just need to know if he hurt you. Did he grab you? Shoved you away?"

Grace shakes her head and rubs her snotty nose over Danny's collarbone. She's still so hot. "Let's get you out of the life vest and all the rest. Why are you wearing it anyway?" Danny rocks her silently with his arms wrapped around her. He fumbles with the cords and the Velcro. The relief over Grace's answer makes Danny light-headed.

"Steve put it on. He said I need it." Her voice is hoarse from shouting and crying.

"Need it for what? Have you been in the water?" Danny finally manages to open the front. He pulls the vest over Grace's shoulders along with the floatation aids. Steve made sure she wouldn't drown. Danny shuts his eyes and sustains the wave of stress rippling through his chest. Steve must be in such bad shape.

"No, we were at the beach. Steve showed me how to dig a ditch," Grace breaks again into tears. 

"Hey, hey, Monkey. Everything's going to be fine. I promise." 

She sniffs, pressed against his body. She's a hot, limp bundle of a scared child. Danny's heart aches for her. "He said I should run. I didn't want to leave, Danno but Steve shouted so loud and he cried. He shouted at me that I need to run into the house."

Danny's close to tears too. "It's okay, baby, it's okay." He bites his lips, "did he sound mean?"

"No," Grace hiccups. Her little body shakes with the disturbing deep sobs her body forces from her. Danny uses his shirt to wipe her nose but the tears don't want to stop flowing. "Steve said I need to run and go hide. He always shouted that I need to run to you. He said I can't look back. He said I need to run."

"That's good, baby. That's good. He wanted you to be safe. You know, Steve is so afraid of the sound of choppers. Choppers are like big monsters to him. The way they move and how they look like and they make so much noise. He doesn't like them. They scare him. And he was afraid you might get hurt." Danny pushes himself up from the couch and walks slowly towards the back door. "And he made sure you won't get hurt and that's fantastic."

Grace finally lifts her head. A good sign. 

"What did scare you the most, sweetheart?" Danny steps out on the Lanai and walks steadily and with an unhurried pace down to the beach.

"Everything was so loud. Steve talked so fast with a funny voice. I wanted to be with him but he pushed me away. He said it's dangerous and I got scared and there was so much noise."

"I know, three helicopters can be very intimidating when they fly by that close. But you did so well, Grace. I'm so sorry you had to go through this alone. Did Steve spook you when he shouted at you?"

She shakes her head and stops, "a bit," she whispered." She rubs at her eyes.

"I know, Grace, I know. I'm going to make it okay, I promise. Next time, I'll stay with you."

Grace's life spirits awake again. Danny is immensely grateful for his little girl's solid spirit. She has such a strong backbone. This fallout needs way more treatment like psychological band-aids consisting of ice cream and Disney movies and lots of happy stories to get her innocent child-balance back. And Steve needs to talk to her. He needs to make her understand why he reacted in this frightening way. And he has to read a wonderful book to her to mend that crack that happened because of this incident.

Grace wraps her arms around his neck. "Are we going back to Steve?"

"Yes, Monkey. We have to check up on him. He's scared too but he's a grown-up and grown-ups don't show how terribly they're terrified. We make sure he's alright, okay?" This short, sharp terror has left Danny nauseous and with muscles hard from tensing up. Danny's gait is unsteady on the sand. His legs are wobbly. He hates not to know in what condition he might find Steve. He has no idea if he's even there. He can't overthink this. He just needs to walk. 

"Look, Danno! There's Steve!" Grace speaks up and points over to a bush a few feet away from the half-finished sandcastle. Nothing points out what just went down a few moments ago. The battleground isn't visible this time, the destruction is only in his baby girl's and Steve's minds and that's a mean thing.

"Ah, thank God. There he is. You have eyes like a hawk. You're great, Grace." Danny just walks. He can't think and he feels like breaking down when he looks over to where Steve holds it together. Danny carries Grace lightly in his arms. Nothing shows how frightened he is to find a version of his Steve he hasn't known so far.

Steve kneels in the sand. Eyes closed. His fingers dig into his thighs. His muscles pop and flex everywhere. And he shakes uncontrollably. His skin glistens in the sun. Sweat runs down his face and drops from his chin to soak his swim shorts. His face is a hard mask. Danny stops and unfolds his inner detective. He needs some inner distance to get through this. He also keeps distance in case Steve jumps up with the confused focus to attack him not knowing that his mind is trapped in a former nightmare. 

Danny puts Grace down and tells her to wait. "Grace, please, wait and stay put. I need to check if Steve can hear us. He might jump up or he might even yell. I don't know. He's so scared he doesn't even try to look up."

"I want to be with you, Danno." Grace grabs his hand and presses her face into his hips. He hugs her with one arm. 

"Okay, stay behind me. We walk slowly towards Steve." Danny clears his throat. The alarm bells that are ringing in his ears tell him he should leave Grace and meet Steve alone. But his heart tells him, Steve's going to recognize him. Maybe Steve is even hoping for someone to come for him, rescue him.

"Steve," Danny calls over to where the man he loves so much sits motionless. His breathing is shallow and fast. "Steve! It's me, Danny, and I'm with Grace. She's with me. We are safe. Grace is safe. You protected her." Danny stops three feet from Steve and waits. He desperately wants to touch him, wants to yank him up and into his arms. He needs to see Steve's eyes, needs to make sure he hasn't flipped a switch and just has left him. "Steve, please, if you can hear me, give me a sign," Danny shouts a bit louder. "We are in Hawaii, at your beach, at your home. There's no war. The choppers are gone." Danny inches forward but halts again. If he kisses the sand face first, he wouldn't be surprised. His heart slams hard against his chest.

"Why doesn't he say anything?" Grace whimpers.

Ah fuck, if Grace is ever gonna tell anything of this terrible afternoon at home, Rachel won't allow him to take her to Steve ever again. Danny curses all the events that have left a brave, strong, wonderful man to end up as a psychological wreck. 

"Steve, please, let me know if you can hear us. I know, it sucks. Everything sucks but Grace is safe, you are safe. Everything is okay. No combat, no battlefield, no gunshots, no attacks. Just wonderful, chillin' Hawaii." He talks with a soft, unsteady voice. 

Steve turns his head and opens his eyes. Danny can't really tell if he sees them. He looks lost. Danny can't stand the desperate, haunted look in his eyes. And he hates to witness how Steve's eyes widen in surprise. Danny inhales deeply. "Do you recognize us, Steve?"

"Yes, I do. You're Danny and that's Grace." Steve answers with what must be his soldier's voice. He doesn't get up. He just stares for a long time. He makes sure Grace sees him. "I apologize, little princess. I didn't mean to scare you that much. I didn't mean to shout at you. I lost it. I thought you were in danger. I'm – I'm so very sorry." He murmurs apologetically. 

"Can I go to him?" Grace whispers at Danny's side.

Danny swallows past the knot in his throat. "Yes, baby, but walk slowly and make sure, Steve sees you clearly." He stands right behind his daughter and walks with her. Danny's entire soul aches because he can't feel Steve. Steve's gone, withdrawn to a place Danny can't follow.

"Steve," Grace whispers and scoots closer, "you don't have to be scared anymore. The plane is gone and the noise too." 

Danny wants to burst into tears. How does his little girl know what to say? He watches how a little wonder unfurls right in front of his eyes. His little girl puts her small hand onto Steve's shoulder. She talks to him about how they can start to rebuild the sandcastle and how she likes the buckets. She still wants to go swimming with him and that she's really hungry.

Danny waits. He doesn't dare to move. The scenery is as peaceful as it has been half an hour ago. It's grotesque to even imagine what inner violence due to the horrible war experience the stupid choppers have stirred to life. Steve looks terribly exhausted. His skin seems greyish around his nose and he can't stop shaking. Danny sees how his eyes wander over Grace's face. And he still watches when Steve finally breaks. Silent, desperate tears roll down Steve's face and Danny hears Grace saying that she doesn't want him to be sad.

Grace climbs in Steve's lap and stands on his thighs to hug him around his neck. Danny observes the scene in awe how his little girl circles her arms with so much braveness around Steve. She pierces through Steve's steely walls with the forceful belief of a child that everything will go away once the tears are dry. Danny knows Steve still holds it together but his shoulder shake and he barely dares to hug Grace's small back with his large hand.

Danny steps closer to be finally able to touch Steve. He fans with his fingers carefully through Steve's hair. "You didn't think we'd come for you, Steve." He states. "You thought we'd take off, angry and disappointed and hurt. You thought we would just leave you." Danny bites the inside of his cheek hard. "I love you, Steve. And I mean it. I'll always come for you." Danny adds with a broken voice. "Always." 

Steve's jaw muscles pop drastically. He hugs Grace as if she's a rare and delicate butterfly. 

"Come on Grace, let Steve get up. We still have lasagna to eat and after this shock, we all need ice cream and a funny movie to watch." Danny waits but Grace makes the monkey, the movement that got her the nickname. She wraps her legs around Steve's waist and hugs his neck as tight as possible and clings to him like a monkey-baby to his mother.

"Come one, Steve. Get up and let's go back inside. Let's try to eat something. Let's try to put this last half hour behind us. We need some happy memories after this." Danny knows Steve's guilt about what has happened eats him up from the inside out. "I love you," Danny whispers again.

Steve can't look at him but he has to wrap his arm around Grace to carry her. Danny walks by Steve's side and waits. When they pass the old wooden chairs, Steve reaches with his arm for Danny and pulls him to his side. Silently they walk back to the house.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I couldn't keep you waiting for too long with this terrible cliffhanger in chapter 11. That one wasn't planned but I also don't want to knock you out with 6k long chapters. Thank you as always for your amazing support! Love you, guys!


	13. Family - Part III

Danny is hyper-aware of how Steve watches him when he closes the door to the Lanai. He stands in the middle of the living room with Grace still tucked to his chest. As if he has lost all confidence while kneeling at the home shore, panic-stricken, and unable to undo what has clenched aggressive to his mind. Steve looks worn out and Grace seems to rest her head on his shoulder as if she wants to camp there for the next hours or so.

"Okay, that's how it's gonna be," Danny searches for Steve's eyes. He wants to hug him so badly but the least Steve needs now is pity and a weak command. Danny's voice is steady and warm when he speaks. "You babe, you go upstairs and take a shower. A long one. A warm, relaxing shower. If you aren't back in fifteen minutes I'll come and check on you." He squeezes Steve's elbow and gestures to hand over Grace. "Hand me over this little monkey," he teases. 

Steve gifts him with a shy, small smile and hooks his thumbs under Grace's armpits. "Time to move, little princess," he whispers next to her ear.

"God, she's tired from the sun and the excitement. We had quite the adventure." Danny plucks her from Steve's chest. She's half-asleep, totally exhausted from too many emotions, and a tidal wave of adrenalin. "She's going to be fine, babe," Danny assures Steve. He knows it will take a while until they have their equilibrium back.

Steve sighs. He's still folded into himself. He hangs his head and his shoulders slouch uncharacteristically over. "Grace," he calls gently, "Hey, you okay?" He cups the back of her head with his hand. Grace nestles her face into Steve's palm and nods tiredly.

"Steve," Danny puts a hand onto his arm, "let's talk later. Now, we need to get cleaned up, get refreshed. I'll lay her down on the couch for a nap. She's too far gone to eat. She needs some sleep and you need your shower." Danny knows Steve wants to fix everything, wants to make sure he hasn't lost Grace's trust. But it's not the time for that now. "Go, I'll have a shower too," Danny makes a 'duh' face and shakes his head at the way Steve stares at him with a hint of outrage about the suggestion. "Not together, you doofus, after you because you take watch down here to make sure Grace is okay while I shower."

"Okay," Steve nods shortly with a creased forehead. "I'll head upstairs." He turns and walks up to the bathroom. Danny reads all the bottled-up emotions in the way Steve drags his tired body up to the first floor.

Danny closes his eyes for a moment and just listens to Steve's soft footfall, to how the bathroom door clicks shut gently. Grace falls asleep in his arms. Everything hurts. His neck is in tight cords and his eyes burn. Steve's desolateness about what he did out there stays like a cloud in the room. Danny doesn't know if Steve can cope well with the aftermath. He has no idea if incidents like this have happened before or if they gonna happen again. But Danny needs to believe that they'll find a way. Somehow, he's gonna find a way to make Steve leave the place in his mind where he's hiding at the moment. Steve doesn't trust himself and Danny can't do wanders but he has to try at least.

The determined pads of Steve's bare feet fifteen minutes later have Danny look up from where he sits next to Grace. She's fast asleep on the comfortable leather couch, wrapped in blankets. She breathes steadily.

"She's asleep?" Steve asks and comes closer. He wears a soft blue t-shirt with a 'NAVY' print on it, grey sweatpants and his hair is still damp from the shower. He smells clean and the soft pink on his cheeks makes him look a bit more adjusted. 

"Yes," Danny gets up. "Lunch is ready in ten minutes. I quickly rinse off to get rid of the sand and that sticky feeling. You okay down here, big guy?" 

"Yeah, I'm okay," Steve inches closer. "Danny," he puts his hand to Danny's cheek. His tongue darts over the bottom lip, licking one tiny spot absentmindedly. 

"I'm right here, babe," Danny steps closer and covers Steve's hand with his.

"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know – " Steve makes sure Danny sees his eyes. He hides nothing. "I know I have issues. I don't talk about them. I don't want to face them but today showed me," a low breath stutters from his lungs, "I have to deal with them. I can't put your little girl in any danger. And I can't put you in the position where you think about if you can trust me or not." Steve's eyes are honest and big. "I scared the shit out of you and your daughter. And –"

"What do you want to ask?" Danny has an idea of what Steve's trying to voice.

"Do you still trust me?" Steve whispers. "Do you still want to be with me?" His hand falls away. "I get that I'm a liability. The world is full of triggers and normally… I can control it but not today. If you think I'm a danger to you or your daughter – "

Danny grabs Steve by his shirt and makes him step closer. "Listen very carefully now, Steve," Danny almost hisses. He's churned up from the last half hour. He hates that Steve questions the love and all the rest that ties them together like nothing else Danny has ever experienced in any former relationship. He leans in and kisses Steve with closed lips, soft and long until Steve relaxes against his mouth and kisses Danny back.

Steve is still stiff and reserved but Danny senses his longing to just let go, to make someone his partner so Steve doesn't have to stand in the darkness alone. Danny fists Steve's shirt with force and kisses him again, hard and a bit painful.

Danny whispers against his lips. "Don't talk about yourself as if you're an armed bomb. Yes, I still trust you, and yes, I still want to be with you." Danny shoves him a bit. "Don't ever doubt that. We're in this together. I have issues, too. And yes, you don't talk about it and it sucks that I have to find out how mentally wounded you are." Danny clenches his teeth to suck in a deep breath, to calm his wildly beating heart. He whispers when he speaks again. "How could you even think that I might love you less because of your issues? You're such an asshole! What haven't you understood when I've told you that I love you? Huh? I know how hard it is to get through a trauma that fucks with your mind. But for the sake of your mental health and for the sake of my daughter's safety you have to go and talk to someone. Get treatment, work through the problem. Face the inevitable and admit that you came back with PTSD. It's not a shame and it's not a stigma. You're only human, Steve, for crying out loud."

Danny hears the steady dull thud of his pulse in his ear. Other than that – silence. Steve's soft puff of air brushes over Danny's lips.

It's out. He said it all regardless of the consequences. If they want to build a future, they have to put all cards on the table. No hiding anymore.

Danny watches with a stomach tied in hard knots how Steve's face morphs into an even mask before he gives in and let desperation show. There's disgust too. "I hate to be like this, to be unable to keep control. I hate it." Steve whispers. "I'm trained to safe people not to put them in danger because I can't hold my shit together." He grinds out. 

"It doesn't make life easier if you always look the other way the moment the pressure rises and you sense the signs. It makes it worse. I can't ask you to fix it. You have to want it yourself." Danny sighs and spreads his fingers wide over Steve's chest. "Let's eat. We can't fix it right now. Just – don't turn your back on me because you can't accept your own behavior. I can't deal with you crawling back into your shell, locking me out. Don't go all quiet on me. Please." Danny hasn't planned to sound this needy. The fallout is bigger than he has thought. It hits him hard, too. 

"I won't, Danny. I promise." Steve leans in to kiss him softly and with aching sweetness. "I could eat." He breathes the words against Danny's lips.

Danny sags against Steve's chest and for a moment the world is okay again. Steve wraps him in his arms and the sway on the spot, shortly indulged in the knowledge that they still have each other, that nothing is lost. Danny knows they're going to make it.

They watch some documentary about an octopus and a man. It's a touching movie and it fits their mood. It explains the balance between mankind and nature and everything is soothing and helps both to calm down. There's no tension in the movie at all. Danny couldn't cope with the smallest amount of excitement. He follows only with half the concentration. The tone is low not to wake up Grace. They eat in comfortable silence. The moment they have finished lunch Steve's leg starts to bounce. His excessive energy is tangible. 

Danny can't sit still either and the muse to watch TV just doesn't appear. "What's your plan? What you're up to?"

Steve pulls his leg up and shoves a foot under his thigh. He turns to look at Danny. "I want this afternoon to end well for Grace. I'll put up the children's pool I've bought for her. It's totally safe, not deep and I want to haul a few wheelbarrows of sand up to the lawn. I wanna build a sandbox for Grace right outside the Lanai. We can build a sandcastle there. It's just as good as at the beach. I want her to have a good time after this horror she went through. What do you think?"

Danny rolls his head on the backrest of the couch to meet Steve's gaze. "That sounds great to me." He lifts his head and strokes with one hand over Steve's hairy, strong thigh. "What do you normally do after such an incident? You're brimming with unused strength and unused adrenaline." Danny asks sincerely.

"I would go swimming. Sometimes for hours. I need to exhaust myself. Physical exercises help me to wear me down and to get me away from that edge in my mind." Steve plays with Danny's finger. "Disassemble and assemble a weapon wouldn't be enough anymore." 

Danny kisses Steve. "I'll clean the kitchen and then I'll help you, meaning I'll bring the beer and I'll watch you burn your energy."

Steve rests his forehead to Danny's and they just stay like this for a moment. It's almost peaceful.

The day ends just as Steve has planned it for Grace. Danny sits on one of the wooden chairs and watches the brilliant Hawaiian sunset. He drinks a beer and listens to the animated chatter in the close by sandbox. He has no idea how Steve has hauled up all the sand on his own. He must have jogged up and down with the wheelbarrow full of heavy sand. But it has kept him busy. Soaked in sweat again due to a different reason and panting Danny gratefully answered the honest, relaxed smile Steve has shot him when he stepped out on the Lanai with Grace in tow.

They chill out in a relaxed atmosphere and enjoy the end of the evening with ice cream and the movie 'Frozen'. Grace talks excitedly and tells Steve the whole movie and her favorite parts. Danny can tell Steve is so relieved she's still with him and doesn't act strange or anxious he leaps happily into an intense discussion with his daughter about the princess' dress and the color blue and pink.

"Time to go to bed, Monkey." Danny collects the spoons and the empty containers to carry it to the kitchen.

"Danny, let me clean the kitchen. Go and get Grace ready for bed, okay?" Steve gets up from the couch. "Come, little princess, time to go to sleep." 

Danny goes through all the evening rituals with Grace. They clean the teeth together. He makes her wash her face twice after she still has some chocolate ice cream around her mouth. He creams her skin with moisturizing lotion and makes her put on her pajamas with the glitter and the colorful fish-print. All the while they chat along and Grace talks and seems to be back to her old self.

Danny tucks her in and pulls the bedcover up to her small chest. "Hey, monkey, would you like to talk to Steve?"

She watches him with big eyes. 

"He scared you today. I know, Monkey. And you have all the right to be scared but maybe he could come up and talk to you? Explain what happened? And you could ask him questions?"

She only watches him with her big eyes not understanding what he's asking. They just had a great, chilled movie night. Danny could slap himself for asking adult questions. A child's world doesn't work that way. "It's okay, Gracie. That was a stupid thing to ask. But what would you say if Steve read to you from your favorite book? Would you like that?"

"Yeah. Does he read as good as you, Danno?"

Danny smiles. "I have no idea but I'm sure he's doing a great job. Shall I call him?"

"Okay."

Danny kisses Grace's forehead and wishes her a Good night. He looks around in the fancy, turquoise room Steve painted for his girl. They haven't had time to admire Steve's great artwork in Gracie's room. Danny sighs and smooths his hair back with both hands. He makes sure he smiles at Grace who seems delighted that Steve will read her a bedtime story. Danny finds Steve sitting on the edge of the big bed in the bedroom across the corridor, hands clasp together, lost in thoughts.

"Hey, Steve, you okay?" Danny walks up to him and steps between his legs.

Steve shoves his face into his stomach and places his hands at the back of Danny's thighs. Danny rests his hands in Steve's hair. He gains strength from the way Steve works hard to be there, to put so much effort into the sweet, young but strong love they have found in each other. 

"I, uh, I have this address of a support group for veterans. For guys like me, with troubled minds, dealing with PTSD. I never wanted to go. I thought I could handle it myself but it's too much at stake for me. I'll join the group next week, okay?"

Danny gently scrapes Steve's scalp with his fingers, scratching him like a cat. Steve rubs his face over Danny's shirt and his hot breath warms his skin underneath. "Thank you," Danny answers with a tense voice. It means to world to him that Steve wants this just as much as he does. Danny's bone-tired and longs for a good sleep. "Grace wants you to read to her." He tells with a soft voice before he cups Steve's face to kiss him deeply. 

Steve looks at him with wonder. "She said that?" 

"Yes, she's waiting for you."

"What do I need to do? Just read?" Steve pushes up from the bed and wraps Danny in a full-body hug.

"Yeah, just read, talk a bit and let Grace lead. If she needs to ask something about today, she will. Don't pressure her. You will do fine." Danny leans against Steve's bulk and inhales the strength this incredible man emanates from every cell of his body. "And tomorrow we admire the stunning artwork you created in Grace's new room. You're one of a kind, Steve McGarrett."

Danny senses the smile on Steve's lips in the way he presses his face into the curve of his neck.

Danny dozes off to the low, wonderful voice of Steve reading to his little girl. He wakes up when the mattresses dips and a warm, strong body curls around him. "Hey, babe," he greets Steve with a sleep-rough voice, "how'd go?"

Steve kisses his neck and nuzzles the hair with his nose. "I never thought that it could be so deeply satisfying to read to a child. I watched her fall asleep, Danny. And it's – it's beautiful. I didn't know what to do with all the feelings. Thank you for this. Thank you." 

Danny pushes into the curve of Steve's body and snuggles into the warmth and the shelter, he provides. He pulls Steve's hand to his mouth and brushes over the knuckles with his lips. "You're good? Both of you?" He murmurs.

"Yeah, we are. And we agreed to make breakfast pancakes for you tomorrow morning." Steve presses an open mouth kiss to Danny's shoulder. "Sleep, babe." 

Danny would have wanted to turn around to kiss Steve like he's yearning since this afternoon, eagerly and raunchy. But he's almost out when the soft-spoken words reach his ear. 

"I love you so much, Danny. I love you both so much."

Danny wakes to clatter from the kitchen. The sun is up and he's alone in bed. His heartbeat shoots up and he turns onto the back. He listens carefully and a bit anxiously to the rhythm of the clatter. It's joyful and in sync. It's fluent and smooth. He hears Grace's voice and Steve's low rumble. It's a good sound. It's a perfect sound. Danny sinks deeper into the mattress and breathes out.

God, what a weekend. But whatever it takes. That's a promise he has given himself and Steve. And the way the clatter sounds from the kitchen below says they are doing freaking great concerning what they have gone through yesterday. He smells pancakes and coffee wafting up the stairs and into the bedroom. It's a good morning.

The doorbell rings and makes Danny almost jump out of his skin. A sudden commotion and a hasty exchange of words with another person follow. All of that has Danny sit up straight in bed. There's the other quite familiar voice again and the barking of a dog. Steve talks but Danny can't hear what he's saying. Grace's delighted squeal is followed by another bark. Something wild is going down on the lower floor.

Danny's already up and wants to head down when he hears the front door closing and footsteps running up the stairs. 

"Danno! Look who's here!" Grace shouts from the hallway.

Danny clearly hears claws on wood running up the stairs too. Grace burst into the room with the brightest smile on her face and jumps right up on the bed. She beams at him and pats on the spot right beside her. 

"Come, Jeanne, come up." She coos.

Danny watches befuddled how a black furry something hops onto the bed and rolls right onto the back, belly up and with a long pink tongue hanging out of its mouth. "Okayyy, Monkey? Who's that and where did you get it from?"

"That's Jeanne. Isn't she cute?" Grace rubs her belly and giggles. "She stays with us for a while."

"Uh-hu?" Danny can't put anything together. How does getting pancakes ready for breakfast fits with a dog sitting on his bed now? 

His head shoots up when he sees Steve walking into the bedroom with a tired, cute infant on his arms. A boy with dark hair and bronze skin. He's still sleepy and clutches a worn stuffy to his chest with his head on Steve's shoulder.

Danny barks a laugh and leans back into the pillow. His heart beats a bit too fast. "Whoa, you said you wanted to make breakfast! What happened down there? Since when does the mailman deliver dogs and cute little, tired boys?" Danny's eyebrows arch upwards. Steve's looks adorable. Cheeks flushed and he glows with a tender smile shy on his lips. Danny can't help it. "I realize now you've always wanted a family but it would have been nice if you had asked me too before you ordered." 

"Don't be stupid, Danno," Steve chides him with a sweet shyness. 

"I'm sorry. That was a bad joke. I'm not a morning person and I'm not really awake yet. So, who wants to solve this riddle for me?" Danny leans over to scratch the dog's fluffy ears. 

"Mary's in labor," Steve says and swallows. "This… god, Danny, my sister is about to have a baby!" He sits on the edge of the bed and makes sure the little boy in his arms feels comfortable. He looks down on him and presses his cheek to the boy's crown.

Danny sits bolt upright. "Mary's in labor! Whoa! That's, wow, Steve, that's wonderful, great news but scary, too, I know. You're going to be an uncle soon, babe." He wants to leap over to hug Steve to give him any sign of reassurance that everything will be fine. But Grace and Jeanne roll around in the sheets between them. He's content with circling his hand around Steve's arm. He hesitates a second and runs the back of his fingers over the quiet boy's leg. " Is she alright? Is Mary alright? Does she need our help?"

"No, yes, I mean she's fine, and no they don't need our help to drive her but they need our help to look after them." He nods in the direction of the dog and the little boy. "That was Kawika at the door. He was in a rush to drive Mary to the hospital. She's still early but her water broke and the contractions have started." Steve scoots higher up and stretches his legs in front of him on the bedcovers. "And that black fur-ball, that's Mary's dog. Her name is Jeanne D'Arc, named after the powerful woman because this little girl is from a shelter and she's a fighter. And this here, this is Nahele. He's five and a bit anxious, too much noise and haste for him in the morning."

Danny blinks at Steve and just listens. "You know him and he knows you." He could tell from the way the boy snuggles into Steve's arms, feeling completely safe and protected.

"Yes, Kawika kind of looks after him when his father has to do time." Steve speaks light-heartedly to cover up the severe topic of why Nahele stays at Kawika's and Mary's. He rushes through the next words, "his mom ran off when he was two and since then he stays often with Uncle Kawika and Aunt Mary. His father is an old friend and it's a point of honor for Kawika to look after his son. We've known each other for three years, right Nahele?" Steve bumps his nose gently against the boy's head. 

Grace is completely immersed in giving Jeanne the world's best belly rubs.

Danny's eyes sting and he blows out a silent exhale through the nose. He purses his lips. "So, it's pancakes for all of us then?" He smiles over at Steve and can't help but close his fingers tenderly around Nahele's ankle. "Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Nahele hides his face in Steve's shoulder. Danny swallows more. "Do we need to buy dog food?"

"No, Kawika left the key and we'll go by his house later. We need some clothes for Nahele and there's enough dog food for Jeanne."

Danny reaches over and caresses the boy's back with soothing strokes. "Hi, Nahele. I'm Danny and this is Grace and I'm sure, we're going to have a good time. Who's anyway hungry for pancakes?"

Grace leaps off the bed followed by a bundle of joy with black fur. "I've made special ones for us, with chocolate chips and whipped cream. Nahele likes them, too. I'm sure!" She shouts before she runs down the stairs followed by a black shadow.

Steve hesitates and stays. "Look, I'm sorry. I haven't planned this. This weekend just seems to – "

"Shut up, babe. What are you even talking about? It's a great weekend! And would you look at us? We're doing great. Let's make it a wonderful day for the kids and let's get some update on Mary's and Kawika's baby. A baby, Steve, your niece. That's – that's such a gift."

Steve sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and grins. "You're the best and I fucking love you, Danny." He whispers with flushed skin.

Danny just pulls him into a kiss, a gentle, short one not to scare Nahele who seems not to mind a bit. 

Sixteen hours later an exhausted but overwhelmed and thrilled Kawika calls to tell them Mary has given birth to a healthy girl. Mother and child are doing well. Steve wipes away tears and Danny tackles him down and presses him onto the couch to finally get that kiss he has wanted since the beginning of Saturday.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Okay, there's one more chapter to come and that will be an epilog to let you know how the guys are doing with all that's going on.  
> I know the chapters didn't come as fluently as normal but I'm super stoked about how the story has turned out. I was fully aware that I was about to take on a big project as a WIP. I managed well with this WIP in the wild of everyday life. I hope you enjoyed it, too. Thank you a lot for cheering me on with your great comments.


	14. Epilog - Ohana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **This chapter is dedicated to @alohaspaceman**.
> 
> Thank you with all my heart, Lisa, for your gift. It was such a great surprise! I'm still over the moon with joy about your amazing edit for this story! I try to upload it. It would fit perfectly with this chapter.
> 
> Alohaspaceman created an amazing edit, a collage, for me inspired by this story. It's like the fantastic cover of the book this story could be. I was so taken by surprise, so moved and so overwhelmed. Never in a million years, I have expected such a gift.

**Three months later**

Danny peels an orange and watches with amusement and a warm fuzzy feeling in this stomach how Aunt Deb conquers the kitchen at the McGarrett's house. 

"Danny, be so kind as to hand me the spatula over there?" 

"Where have you learned to cook for a whole crew?" Danny reaches over to hand her the cookware. He darts a quick look out the window. The backyard is crowded with all their friends and family who gathered today to celebrate a special ceremony for little Kalea. He hauls himself up to sit on the countertop neatly nestled in the corner out of Aunt Deb's way but still in the middle of things. He eats the luscious orange with delight, licking the juice off his fingers.

She lifts her head and stretches to her full height, wiping a hand at the white apron. She smiles wisely with so much love, it warms Danny from head to toe. "I've spent years in the show business. Do you have any idea how starved we were after a performance on stage?" Aunt Deb's laugh comes deep from within her gut. It's so strange and unexpected Danny freezes, intrigued by this dazzling personality in front of him. Steve has the most fascinating relatives. 

"You performed? On stage?" Danny askes with wonder in his voice. "As in dancer? Singer?"

"A singer and the dancing just happened. Hell, yeah, those were the good ol' days. Crazy, sometimes no money in the pocket but, God, did we love it. We had fire in our hearts and were ready to conquer the world. We had so much fun!" Aunt Deb's voice was filled with a hint of wistfulness. "But family is the most important thing in the world. I came home after my sister-in-law died. I wanted to be there for Steve and Mary. But – " She nods firmly over where Danny hangs on her lips not to miss a single moment, "yes, I and my crew often ended up hungry in the bar's kitchen where we had our gig. The best parties were celebrated in various kitchens. We knew some of the owners. They enjoyed a private concert while I made a late-night dinner for the whole team. Those were great and fun times. We could eat and entertain like no one else." She tells in a sparkling, enticing way that charms Danny on the spot.

Danny forgets to eat his orange and kind of jerks from the spell he's under when Mary floats into the kitchen. Her cheeks are pink and her eyes shine like stars. She looks beautiful and motherhood suits her well. She spreads happiness into the air like a new brand of air freshener.

"Aunt Deb's stories as a singer captivates everyone, right Danny?" She pats Danny's knee and flashes him one of those famous McGarrett smiles before she walks up to her aunt to hug her around the waist. "Aunt Deb is the queen of homemade food. She's famous for her roast and for the best stuffed turkey at Thanksgiving." Mary steals a sweet potato slice freshly out of the oven. "Mmm, God, it's pure manna! Tastes good, Aunt Deb." Mary pants to cool the hot vegetable in her mouth.

Aunt Deb chides her about eating with her fingers and makes her take a plate. Mary kisses her cheek and comes closer to lean into Danny.

"Where's your baby girl, Mary?" Danny snatches a piece from her plate.

"Steve's carrying her around. She's hungry and whiny. I need to feed her." Mary pricks Danny's finger with the fork to make him back off. "Those are mine. Have some of your own. You haven't even finished your orange. I'm hungry. I need to produce milk."

Danny chuckles and shoves the slice of warm, spicy-sweet potato in his mouth. It mixes with the taste of orange. "Whoa, these are madly tasty. You have to teach me how to get it that delicious, Aunt Deb."

Aunt Deb smiles knowingly and hums a melody. She turns when Steve walks in.

Danny's eyes are glued to how Steve gently cradles the youngest offspring of the McGarrett family in his arms – baby Kalea. Danny can't get enough of the soft and tender expression on Steve's face whenever he carries his niece. He's the proudest uncle Danny has ever seen, overprotective over both, mother and child. Kalea is embedded in a warm-hearted, wonderful family of which Danny and Grace and even Rachel and Stan are now a part of it too. It's overwhelmingly wonderful.

"Hey, Danny, here you are. I've been looking for you everywhere." Steve steers right into the corner where Danny still sits on the kitchen counter.

"Did you miss me?" Danny asks and strokes with a finger featherlight over Kalea's tiny head, wrapped protectively in a tiny cotton cap. "The best stories you always get waiting for the food in the kitchen." 

"Aunt Deb rocks," Steve answers with a laugh. "I still love to listen to all her stories." Steve rocks his niece gently. She complains about how she feels with a small voice and lets everyone know she's upset. "Is she okay, Mary? I couldn't calm her." Steve sounds worried. "Kawika said she's just hungry."

"Yes, my sweet girl needs her milk. Look she searches with her mouth to find the food station but your dry as a desert, dear brother. Come, let's go upstairs. I need somewhere to sit comfortably and away from loud voices. She gets startled easily. I need her to drink quietly and afterward, she'll sleep peacefully."

Danny watches how Steve's cheeks flush adorably when Mary tells him how useless he's to a hungry baby with no milk to provide. "Go upstairs, Steve. Help Mary to get comfortable with cushions. Take Grace's and Nahele's pillows too. She needs to be all propped up with all kinds of support to relax.

"Okay, come on Mary," Steve signals with his head to head upstairs. "You can sit on our bed. It's big and it's quiet. No one will disturb you. I'll carry her. Eat up." Steve rubs soothingly over Kalea's back. She whimpers and pumps with her small legs. She's getting agitated.

Mary shoves the plate with the rest of her veggies into Danny's hand. "Let's go, Punk. She's working herself up into a mood. She's hungry. I don't want her to start crying. She would be too upset to drink. Come on, Steve. Let's go." Mary almost rushes outside.

Steve kisses the baby's head. "Sit tight, Danno. I'll be back." 

Danny watches Steve leave the kitchen. He forces himself to slowly finish the rest of Mary's vegetables. He saves the three last slices of orange for Steve. Aunt Deb sings a wonderful, slow tune, immersed in getting the main course ready for the crowd. Danny knows she gives him the space he needs. No talking. He blinks furiously to clear his vision. Danny smells the grilled meat while he chews almost meditatively on a potato slice to make his chest unclench. Kamekona is the proud barbecue chef of today's family celebration. The animated chatter and the occasional outburst of laughter filters through the back door. It's the happiness that constricts Danny's throat and makes his chest uncomfortably tight. He's glad Aunt Deb doesn't want to pick a conversation. 

Danny waits for Steve at the bottom of the stairs. He balances the three orange pieces on his palm. Everyone is somewhere else. He's alone for precious five minutes. He debates in his head if he should sneak upstairs to call for Steve to tell him he's about to go looking for the kids. He knows it takes time to feed a baby. Grace had trouble to suck properly and she was a slow drinker. Rachel never minded. She loved those bonding times with Grace. They were precious. She wanted them to last. Danny envied her for those moments, those most intimate moments when a mother breastfed her baby. It hurt him that he would never know how this might feel. It must be incredible and soul-altering beautiful.

He lifts his head. Steve silently comes down the stairs. His eyes find Danny's and Danny feels how Steve sinks into him, touching him on the inside like he always does in the same insane way.

"Hey, babe," Danny gets greeted with a soft press of lips, "how's it going? Is she drinking?" 

"Yes, they're fine. I made sure Mary feels comfortable. I haven't checked but the sucking sound told me she soon will fall asleep with her little belly full of milk." Steve's cheeks are still colored pink.

"You didn't stay?" Danny leans into Steve's touch and welcomes Steve's tender, consuming kisses.

"I – no, I don't know. It didn't seem appropriate." 

"Appropriate? Why? It's a mother breastfeeding her baby. The most natural and most wonderful thing in the world." Danny pulls back a little and sees how Steve's face is flushed.

"It's my sister, Danny. It's – I don't know, kind of too intimate to sit and to watch the baby suckle at Mary's nipple. Kawika is allowed to see this, not me, not her brother. I – " Steve gazes sheepishly at Danny, holding his face between his large, rough hands. "Did you watch Rachel and Grace?" He asks a bit breathless.

Danny's face lit up in a warm smile. "Yes, I did. It was beautiful, full of love and peace. It hit me every time how powerful this simple act of deep love is. A mother nurtures her baby like women have done over centuries."

Steve's eyes take him in, wander over his face. "You're so special. Do you know this, Danny?"

Danny breathes in Steve's scent when Steve drags his lips along his cheek to get to his eyes, giving him butterfly-light kisses on his closed eyelids. Steve pulls him into a hug. "I kinda felt excluded, too." Danny adds, "and sometimes I was jealous of not having this deep bond with my daughter. As a man, you miss out on so much intimacy but I loved to sit there and be a part of something bigger."

Steve rests his chin on Danny's head. "Mary said it was okay if I wanted to stay. She's such a great mother. I'm so happy for her and Kawika. But still. I guess it was too much. I felt a bit overwhelmed, to be honest." Steve mumbles into Danny's hair.

"Eat a slice of orange. It helps to deal with the overload." Danny brings his hand up and Steve turns his head. 

Danny sighs when Steve doesn't let go but signals him to bring his hand to his lips. He pulls his abs taut when Steve's lips graze over his palm to catch the orange pieces. He chews and swallows and smiles at him. Steve's tongue licks the juice from Danny's palm. "Steve, you gotta stop this – "

"Why? No one's here. Just us." Steve sucks Danny's digit into his mouth and runs his tongue alongside with a glint in his eyes.

"Hold this thought," Danny tries to free his captured finger. He feels the heat spread into his groin. Steve gets this heated look. He smiles lasciviously when he grabs Danny's wrist and holds it firmly. "Steve," Danny tries a stern tone and fails completely. "Give me back my finger. Don't be a dick. The backyard is full of guests. Aunt Deb is cooking in the kitchen." Danny hisses but laughs and maybe he also moans.

"Make me," Steve says with a smoky voice.

"Make you what?" Danny's hips push forward. Not good.

"Make me give you back your finger." Steve mumbles. His mouth sucks at Danny's finger, running his tongue like velvet over the finger buried in his mouth.

"Jesus, Steve! I can't sport a hard-on at a family gathering. Your _father_ is outside. Maybe he's already looking for us." Danny grasps at straws. He laughs at Steve's expression and how that magical word sobers him up instantly. He gives Danny his finger back.

"That was a mean one," Steve says with a gruff voice.

Danny's amused and flattens Steve's already flat shirt with his other hand. "Don't challenge me, big guy," he grins. "Have you seen the kids recently?"

Steve wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. "Not since I've stepped into the kitchen with Kalea. I told Kamekona to keep an eye on them. I mean, Rachel and Stan are still outside. So are Kono, Chin, Kawika – everyone keeps an eye on Grace and Nahele and they're with Jeanne. They don't go far."

"Come, I need to wash my hands. I wanna know what they've been plotting. They've become so wild." Danny grabs at Steve's shirt and pulls him in for another kiss. "And then we spent some time with your father."

Danny calls out to the crowd gathered around the colorfully decorated tables. "Hey everyone, have someone spotted the kids and Jeanne? I haven't seen them in a while."

Kamekona points with the burger spatula in the direction where the beach is. "Don't worry, Danny, the _keikis_ are with gramps at the beach."

"Gramps?" Steve snorts walking behind Danny.

"Your father, grandpa McGarrett, Steve," Kawika comes up to stand beside Steve. He throws an arm around his shoulder and heartedly pats his chest. He grins like a loon.

"You worry too much, Danny," Kono calls over where she's invested in a conversation with Rachel.

"I worry too much?" Danny mocks indignation. "They always turn up without their shirts or shorts. Wet and sandy, although they know they aren't allowed to be even near the ocean. And there are sharks out there!" Danny complains, pointing with his outstretched arm to the wild sea that sloshes against their doorstep. 

"Danny, you're overdramatic. They're never alone near the water. They're not that silly to walk into the surf." Rachel answers with a soft voice and a laugh.

Danny's eyes are wide. Rachel sits relaxed in a comfortable chair with a pillow stuck behind her back. She has a flower tucked behind her ear and Stan watches her with a stupidly happy smile. Pregnancy suits her well. Grace is going to have a sibling soon. Danny inhales deeply. "You're not allowed to do that, Rachel. She's your daughter, too. You have to be on my side. "

"I'm on your side, Daniel and as I said, don't be so dramatic. John is with them. They're alright."

"There are no sharks out there, Danny. I'd feel them. Your _keikis_ are safe." Mamo's soothing voice comes from the other side of the table.

"I don't even want to know how you would sense if there were sharks swimming around." Danny's brows are furrowed. He's not yet used to all the Hawaiian mambo jambo about 'the sea speaks to me' and 'the wind tells me when to hang my laundry to the west' and 'when it's the right time to plant the seeds because the earth is ready to embrace her children'. Steve has told him that once and he still can't wrap his mind around how someone could _feel_ that.

"Wait until you see the surfboards I've made for Grace and Nahele," Kawika informs everyone.

Danny sputters and turns around. He points with a fierce finger at Kawika and jabs his left pec hard. "Don't. You. Talk. About. Freaking. Surfboards.!" Jab, jab, jab. "What is wrong with you?" Danny calls Rachel for help. "Rachel! Tell me you haven't agreed to that crazy plan?" 

"Kono and Mamo are with them. Kawika surfs since he's a child. We're in Hawaii, Danny. Surfing is the way of life here." Rachel smiles gorgeously and leans back against her fluffy pillow.

"Who are you?" Danny stammers.

"Danno," Steve's beloved rumble makes Danny keep his balance. "No shark will eat one of our kids. They will see the dolphins, as I have promised. And we will start in the shallow water. Mamo knows the sea like no one else. Trust the locals. Grace and Nahele will be fine."

Danny kind of deflates and leans into the invisible support Steve provides. "Okay, okay. One step at the time."

Kawika has still his arm around Steve's shoulder. He looks like he's completely drunk on happiness. "How's Mary and my baby. They okay?"

Steve's moved easily these days. Danny gets all the mushy vibes Steve gives off. He tries to keep a solid frame but it suits him well to be all gooey on the inside while the outer shell is a rock-hard and muscled and fierce as always. "Yes, Mary's fine. Your little one drinks as if there's no tomorrow." He squeezes Kawika's hand. His gaze drifts off to the beach. "So, you're telling me my dad is at the beach with Grace and Nahele?"

"Oh look, here they come!" Danny shouts and waves back when Grace calls his name. "And here we go. What have I told you? No shirts, sandy and wet."

They walk closer. Nahele and Grace hold on to John's hands. He leads the kids up to where everyone waits. Grace bounces excitedly and Nahele giggles his sweet laugh with his head thrown back.

"What – " Danny can't hide his smile either. The kids are so loose and content, "what happened to your shirts?" Danny's hand makes a complicated move. He also stares at John McGarrett. His pants are rolled up to his knees and the rim of his pants is wet. They have been in the water. "Hey, John, thanks a lot for taking care of them."

"No worries, Danny, it's a joy to be with them. We had fun, right kids?"

"Yesss!" Nahele shouts and shoves the shells he has found at the beach into Danny's hands. "Keep them for me."

"Where's your shirt, young man?" Danny tries to give him a stern look. But God, he's so irresistible with his smile and he's Grace's best friend. 

"I gave it to Grace."

"Why?

"She likes it. Jeanne needed a shirt too." Nahele sighs dramatically as if Danny asks to most boring questions. "I'm hungry." He whines.

"Go wash your hands, put on a new shirt. You know where they are. In your dresser, bottom drawer. And you too, Grace. You know, I could buy you a spiderman shirt any day if you wanted one." He has tried so many times but her answer stays the same. 

"I like wearing Nahele's shirts. He doesn't mind." She peeps and pulls at her pigtails before she runs after Nahele. 

"And why needs the dog to wear your shirt?" Danny calls after his daughter. He darts over to watch Jeanne panting with Grace's pink glitter shirt and the lettering 'be a princess'. Sometimes, Danny can't get rid of the feeling that this sweet dog grins at him.

"Jeanne likes pink!" Grace screams back. Nahele almost topples over when the fit of giggle tears through his sun-kissed body. Grace laughs along with him and together they bounce into the living room. Wild and carefree.

Danny shakes his head and smiles. Steve steps up behind him and pulls him close. Steve can't form words when too many emotions constrict his throat. "Let's eat. Come on, dad. You look hungry too. Thanks for hanging out with them."

"We had fun," John repeats before he awkwardly but affectionately pats Steve's shoulder to stroll off to sit beside his wife.

"Let's eat, folks!" Aunt Deb shouts and claps her hands to get everyone's attention. "Lunch is served!"

Steve sneaks stealthily out of bed not to wake Danny. Grace is with Rachel and Nahele sleeps at his sister's house. It's only Danny and him. Steve doesn't need much sleep. The nightmares aren't tearing that often through his mind anymore. He can rest while he sleeps but the uneasy feeling when he lies awake in bed stays. Healing can't be rushed he has learned the hard way. It's better to get up, drink some water, watch the ocean, and waits until his limbs get heavy again to crawl back under the cover to be with Danny for a few more hours.

The beaten, old chest of his grandfather is heavy. He pulls it carefully from under the bench where it's stashed close to the window. The lid opens soundlessly. He holds the simple wooden box for a moment before he flips the lid open. The dog tags with his name rest there in the same heap of a coiled up chain. Two small plates with his name stamped in lie on top, just the way he has left them the last time he held them. His grandfather's dog tags are in the second, identical wood box right there where he has put them. 

Steve strokes the metal with his fingers before he takes it out to hold it, to run it through his fingers, to refresh the sense that ripples through him whenever his fingertips make contact with his past. He gets lost in thoughts. He still misses it, the team, the thrill, and the purpose. The drill, the way of life that leaves no gap to think about anything else but about the next step in the mission, the training. Being a SEAL will forever be carved in his bones no matter the damage it has brought being part of missions, doing the job of an elite soldier.

Plants and seedlings have been his lifeline back to life, have held him upright when he didn't know how to make it through the day, how to make a life out of the Navy. Until Danny came along to buy one of his plants. And he sold it to the guy he hasn't known back then but to whom his heart has answered without his consent. Everything has changed after that. 

It's time to move on. Kamekona and Mary have taken over his flower shop. They have plans to develop a business but are serious about how they want to run it with economical sustainability. And Steve – Steve has finally accepted the Governor's offer to run a task force. He has needed time to think about it but he's ready now. The support group helps to understand his issues and to deal with them. That's the reason he took the dog tags from the wall to keep them safe, out of sight because he doesn't need to look at them to drag him through the day. He's ready for action and stress and pressure. He needs it like air to breathe.

He carefully and slowly puts the dog tags back into the wooden box. He closes the lid and hides the boxes where they belong. It's a ritual. It's important. Each movement is accurate, dedicated, and executed with humbleness. 

Steve drinks the glass of water in complete silence and gazes out to the black mass of water. He doesn't make a sound. Kono and Chin will come by for breakfast. Danny got a bit antsy when Steve didn't come out with the truth about that meeting. He got suspicious but Steve made him shut up and made him moan instead. Thoroughly fucked and tired Danny was out cold without the change to pepper him with questions.

They are going to be a team and as a team, Steve wants to inform all of them at once. HPD won't be happy to lose three good cops in one day. Hawaii needs their best and Steve and his team will be the best. The smile that spreads his lips feels damn good. 

Steve climbs back into bed and curls around Danny's warm body. He's excited and the well-known, much-missed vibration of strength makes it difficult the fall asleep. He's finally back. Steve kisses Danny's neck and buries his face in the soft curve of Danny's strong shoulders.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> It's a wrap! Oh, God, I did it! I'm so happy I fulfilled my own set goals. That's it, guys. That's my story and I hope you enjoyed the ending. What a ride. I want to thank you for your patience. I would have wanted to update regularly but it's difficult with work and all the chores to get as much writing done during the week as needed to create a good flow. Anyway, it's complete and I can't tell you how satisfying this feels. Another wrap. And you my wonderful friends and readers, have helped carry me through this time. Your wonderful cheering, your comments and your presence were such a boost and still are. Mahalo for your love and your poweful support. It's always so appreciated. All the love right back at you!
> 
> My muse won't rest. I have big plans to fulfill and I keep writing at the story I've put on hold for the Writer's Month challenge. 
> 
> Until next time, guys, mahalo and aloha! xxx


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